i feel like i'm slipping into solitude. i don't have to work tonight so i spent most of the day looking at guitars online. i was trying to plan for tomorrow but i'm already coming up with excuses not to go out. i haven't been out since she told me bout new guy other than work. i'm scared i'm going to run into her. is this away to live? i can't hide my whole life. i'm even breaking no smoking inside rule cuz i'm afraid she might drive by. I always loved sitting outside and playing guitar. but now i am to scared to open the door. i talk to my therepist every day but i haven't told him of this fear. i'm worried he might call someone like you guys did and like my niece did. I'm not living i'm just wasting away. wow thats what w said in january right after an old friend sued me and right before my heart stopped
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