
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I'm barely holding on today, needed somewhere to go to relate, figure out what is happening in my life, and try and cope. I've lost my high school sweetheart of 13 years due to insecurities, inability to communicate and controlling behavior. I'm a very large man and am very scary when I am angry. My wife had enough, and I had no idea it had come this far. I feel like failure, I feel like I have let her and my children down, and don't know what I'm going to do with my life. She was my life. How could I have hurt her so bad that she doesn't love me anymore?
Please, if there is anyone out there, I need someone to talk to, someone to relate to, someone to share with. She was my best friend, and I always depended on her for my emotional stability. I feel so alone. I feel like god doesn't hear my prayers anymore, and I'm destined to watch every dream and hope for my life and family walk out the door forever.
Please, if there is anyone out there, I need someone to talk to, someone to relate to, someone to share with. She was my best friend, and I always depended on her for my emotional stability. I feel so alone. I feel like god doesn't hear my prayers anymore, and I'm destined to watch every dream and hope for my life and family walk out the door forever.
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I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. Know that it's not too late to save it. I also want to say thatnk you for being honest about your temper. Is there more to it than being intimidating?
Until you deal with your anger issues, you will remain alone and miserable. Have you considered getting help, signing up for an anger management class or counseling? Perhaps there is no better time than now. It is also important you learn to love yourself. It is not fair to depend on someone else for your emotional stability. Only you can make changes there. Once you have done that and dealt with your anger issues, the rest will fall into place.
Good luck! You will find a ton of support here that may come in the form or tough love as well as great suggestions. You will gain differant perspectives which might just provide the key you are missing.
I also do not think it was controlling to be concerned about your wife's internet habit.
It's going to be very hard for you, because you have been together since you were so young. Just keep doing the next right thing.
I agree with the others here.
Having a hard look inward is a positive step.
You may findd yourself like so many others have here, using most your resources on emotions.
I read somewhere that we end up using about 70% of our energy trying to deal with the emotional aspect of things. Leaving us 30% to deal with the day to day task.
The number one thing you can to to help your situation from what I have learned is to give her space.
Number two is to keep yourself healthy.
Eating right and sleep usually get put to the wayside. So do everything you can to keep your engine running. Exercise and vitamins are a priority right now, or should be.
Sleep sometimes comes hard to find. Don't waste a minute without at least 7 hours of sleep per night. Get yourself a sleep aid if you find that you can't sleep at night.
Taking very long walks will also help you to deal with things. Sounds weird but it does.
If you confide in people about your situation...
Look for someone outside your normal circle of friends. The last thing you want is for her to constantly here about how you are doing from friends or family.
If you are going to make change, don't tell her or have other people telling her about it.
Do it for yourself and if and she is curious, she will come to you to see that for herself.
Don't Don't get on the phone and cry to her, this will drive her further away.
Do your utmost to show most people that you are ok, even if you are not. When you get home and are alone you let out all the emotional stuff.
All that I tell you I learned the hard way.
Good luck and you are in good company here.
hang in there
hug
S
It sucks and it's tough. The best thing is that you recognize your part in the relationship. Now, that you know, there are things you can do to improve you.
You are missing skills. In fact the skills required to have a happy marriage. Recognizing your problem will help you to recognize the skills you are missing also. To get the skills you are missing, the following can help:
First, get into counseling. There are a lot of things they can do to help you. Tell your counselor exactly what you posted above.
Next, there are a couple of books you should pick up: "If only he knew, what no woman can resist" by Gary Smalley. And, "His Needs, Her Needs" by unknown. Read both of these. Then re-read the first one I recommended 2 or 3 times. It has a lot of what men need to know to make there wives happy.
Next, enroll in either an anger management or an emotional management course. And, I would suggest getting into Bhuddist meditation to help you calm down.
I don't know if any of this will help you in your current marriage. But, it will do several things. It will show your current wife you are trying to improve. If taken seriously, you will improve. And, if your marriage does fail, you will be a much better person for your next marriage/relationship. You will also feel happier, and you will notice an improvement in your daily life. (Even though it's in this low state.)
And, keep coming back here.