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I'm feeling sick to my stomach now...

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband moved out three weeks ago. It was a really bad scene and this was so overdue. I'm so much happier now that he's gone. I've been calling lawyers and have my first appt with one on Dec 5. I really thought I'd have a lawyer first, didn't think he'd do anything until I did. And I know he thought I wouldn't do anything until I had to. Well, he called me a little while ago asking for my social security number as well as the kids' and said he needs them for a form he's filling out for "the lawyer". I hate myself for it, but I just feel sick that he got a lawyer first. I don't know why I needed so badly to be the first to file. I guess to show him that I really was serious. Now I feel like I had that taken away from me too, along with everything he's taken from me over the years. And no, this isn't just the reality hitting me, I REALLY want this marriage to be over asap. But I wanted to be the one to file and to surprise him with the sheriff showing up to serve him papers. It shouldn't matter, I know it shouldn't, I need to just be happy that things are getting underway, but I just can't let this go. Now I'm sitting here in my house while the kids are sleeping, and I just don't even know what to do, I can't concentrate, and my stomach is rolling. I hate feeling like this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sitting here alone doing the same thing. I am so sick to my stomach. I feel lost,alone, and scared.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No offense to any of the guys who might read this - but i think the "first strike" thing is in direct correlation to the size of his penis - just a thought ;-) On a more serious side, don't sweat who filed first - you will have to face much worse from him. He filed first to push your buttons and get a reaction - don't give him the satisfaction - and save your energy for the bigger battles!
Thriver
Thriver
I don't know if this will help any. For every person wanting to be the one to file and get it over with, there is a person feeling guilty about being the one to file. I filed, because I was afraid to be affiliated with my STBX any longer and it was the only way to make him leave. I'm sure I would not feel good if he was the one to file - it's just one of those feelings it's hard to really explain or analyze, but it is very real.
In the scheme of things this will soon become unimportant. There will be lots to deal with. I wish you strength.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you, I know you're right. About all of it. ;) And no, I can't let him have the satisfaction of this reaction. I need to get over this feeling NOW.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you, Thriver. That is very helpful, too. Thank you for the strength, I know I'm going to need it.
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