Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
some of you already know my story. married a long time, husband just starts loosing it (going crazy) - getting violent, etc, etc, etc.
stbx has been out of the house for almost 6 months now. He is under a court order to stay the heck away from us. He stopped taking his meds for depression by choice, stopped going to see his doctor again by choice, cancelled his health insurance (uses the excuse that he has no money to pay to see the doctors or buy meds). he is living just down the road in a 1bedroom appartment without TV, has no friends, goes to bed by 8pm every night, was kicked out of church (when I got the Perm RO),
now, for the fear part...
last night I awoke to hear screaming, it was me. I was dreaming that he was in the house and was crazy and was going to kill me. something he was telling me before I got him out of here.
the trigger was I went to get gas last night, and he was at the same gas station, he looked CRAZY, I mean really crazy. like when you see someone crazy walking down the street and you cross the street just to get away from them crazy. I could hear him and he was cursing up a storm, acting really bizzare, paranoid (sp?), he see me and yells he wants to see his boy. I drove away. fast.
too scary, too damn scary. we have to finish the court case yet.
after I was awakened by my own screams, I starting thinking that crazy people do crazy things during the holidays. which all made me more afraid.
I don't have much family, but I started thinking I needed to get the teen out-of-state for the holidays? but I am under court order not to remove him from the state, or maybe while I'm at work, he can go to a church families home? they live in the foothills and it could work.
why...and when will this nightmare be over? if he would only take the damn meds, I feel we would be safer.
I hate living in fear like this, especially when things were feeling better.
when am I going to be free of this mess?
stbx has been out of the house for almost 6 months now. He is under a court order to stay the heck away from us. He stopped taking his meds for depression by choice, stopped going to see his doctor again by choice, cancelled his health insurance (uses the excuse that he has no money to pay to see the doctors or buy meds). he is living just down the road in a 1bedroom appartment without TV, has no friends, goes to bed by 8pm every night, was kicked out of church (when I got the Perm RO),
now, for the fear part...
last night I awoke to hear screaming, it was me. I was dreaming that he was in the house and was crazy and was going to kill me. something he was telling me before I got him out of here.
the trigger was I went to get gas last night, and he was at the same gas station, he looked CRAZY, I mean really crazy. like when you see someone crazy walking down the street and you cross the street just to get away from them crazy. I could hear him and he was cursing up a storm, acting really bizzare, paranoid (sp?), he see me and yells he wants to see his boy. I drove away. fast.
too scary, too damn scary. we have to finish the court case yet.
after I was awakened by my own screams, I starting thinking that crazy people do crazy things during the holidays. which all made me more afraid.
I don't have much family, but I started thinking I needed to get the teen out-of-state for the holidays? but I am under court order not to remove him from the state, or maybe while I'm at work, he can go to a church families home? they live in the foothills and it could work.
why...and when will this nightmare be over? if he would only take the damn meds, I feel we would be safer.
I hate living in fear like this, especially when things were feeling better.
when am I going to be free of this mess?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
not much more I can do. It's important to keep the "home" feeling like a home for the kid. but if I get that gut feeling, I'm out of here.
I don't normally awake to my own screaming. the trigger was seeing him last night. I pray that will not happen tonight and I will be able to sleep soundly again.
Make your home as secure as possible. I changed the locks and even put bells on the doors and windows so I could hear if someone was trying to get in in the middle of the night.
If you can call someone who does home security systems, maybe you could at least sleep better at night. Sorry you are going through this.
so to vent, just needing to get this out, you know?
he was talking about leaving the state to work in texas for 2 yrs, I pray he does this as I would feel safer if he did.
I also attend meetings on domestic violence and how to have healthy relationships. I recommend them to anyone in a similar boat, even if you are still with you husband, it was a great help to me. I was surprised by the range of women in the group. so many in my age group and income range.
when someone starts to lose their minds I have been told that without intervention they sometimes never get them back. my ex's mom died of cancer then I was injured in a serious accident, then he started down this path. He was called to his mom's deathbed but refused to go and that is driving him crazy I think.
i can no longer help him, that is so hard to finally realize. I must go forward for our son.
I'm sure there is someplace still in your state you can go which will be far away - just for the holidays.
Also, if you talk to him ever by phone or in person, be ready to record the conversation.
This is so scary and it is awful to feel unsafe in your home. Make sure your child is never alone.