Okay, I'm finally realizing I'm retarded when it comes to love. I fall in love with somebody who doesn't love me and then other people fall for me and I'm not interested. I feel better alone but am scared to be alone forever. I know I want someone to enhance my life but can't get it straight. I'm in love with a man that has no feelings for me and I feel I'm waiting for him to be ready and able to date again. But I now know ultimately he couldn't love me the way I feel I deserve. But then, I can never meet that one guy. I married what I thought was the one but it turned out I settled. My life is slipping away and want to know, is there a soul mate? Is there the one? I'm a very insecure person and a little overweight. I know I can look better and be more positive in general and these are the things I'm working on. But man, how retarded am I. It just seems I will never realize my dreams of being in a healthy commited relationship with someone that loves me as much as I love them - completely, soulfully, unconditionally. Does this exist? I have no proof.
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