Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I know what to do

deleted_user
deleted_user
He was here tonight to go over financial stuff. He is giving me & kids support. Can't fault him for that. He said there is hope of us getting back together, but then said nobody can make him stop drinking. So, no, I can't have him back here. And, of course, there's the pig whore he is still probably seeing. So, anyway, I'm not really asking advice because I know what I have to do. I guess I'm going to go to AL-Anon meetings for additional support in this mess. I'm new here and I've been reading all the discussions and advice and you all have helped tremendously. He is not going to change unless he chooses to. I can't help him anymore. I'm determined to start healing and get back to my usual happy self. Thank you all for being out there. DS is a lifesaver
deleted_user
deleted_user
you are right.... you do know what to do. good for you, may we all have the same resolve and strength when we need it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for being an example of what is the right thing to do and the right attitude. I'm glad you're in Al-Anon.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Enabling is not helping, sadly I enabled my husband to stay out till however late he wanted "working" as I faithfully stayed at home with the kids. If I ever complained, he was doing it for us... another way of blaming rather than changing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That sounds like me, newme. My husband can not even balance the checkbook because I did it all. I let him get away with the behavior.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow! You are drawing strength from SOMEwhere, and I wish I could tap into that well! You definitely have a path in your head now you just need to follow it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm drawing strength from all of you. I may "know" what to do, but it sure doesn't make it any easier. I still hope he will change.
CanadianRose
CanadianRose
Good for you .

You do know what you have to do, so proud of you.

Yes.. take care of yourself.. the kids. From what I understand HE and only he can choose to find help and stop the addiction.

You are moving forward in a positive way. Good.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Somewhat similar situation for me - he totally stopped all communication and everything with his "other" and has promised me not to drink (we'll see....) when he realized how absolutely serious I was when I said "NO MORE!!!! You will not have a wife if you keep up with this!". He's been "good" for about 3 weeks now - we'll see how long he keeps it up. But I will see an attorney the next sip of alcohol and he knows it. I'm thinking reality hit him pretty hard and he's motivated by fear and loss of his present life status. Maybe that will last long enough for him to change his motivation into not doing it because he actually loves his kids (and maybe even his wife) more than his own temptations. I don't recommend keeping them around when they're like this though... you do have to judge for yourself. And I wish you the best. You will be the stronger for it!! And so will he eventually when he eventually realizes how much he's had to pay for his stupidity.
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