Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
First let me tell you that I know this is the wrong forum for this,, but the forum that this belongs in has been taken completely up by people playing games and I really need help with this.. So please forgive me? I did post it in there, but seriously doubt anyone will respond!
So here goes!
My question is why do men think it is all about sex? I consider myself a lady,, a real lady! I know,, a bit old fashioned in this day and age... But considering my past and allot of you know about my past.. I have decided about 15 years ago, that I literrally will not just jump into bed with the first available man that I meet! Well,, I have a fellow that I am in love with... I was told, not by this fellow, but by a male friend of mine, that I have not shown him that I love him, cause I have not had sex with him! This man and I share sooo much in every aspect! We talk about everything, or so I thought! We have been seeing each other almost two years... No there still has not been any sex! In May of this year he told me that he does not know how he feels about me,, he stated he loves me, but is not sure that he is in love with me. It is almost like, until we sleep together, he will not be able to make a commitment,(and I cannot sleep with him without one). He did not say this,, this other friend did! Is it true? Is it really all about sex, there does not have to be the emotional connection for him, that there has to be for me? Am I supposed to show him that I love him by sleeping with him?
Help me figure this out please!
And again, sorry for posting this here, I know it belongs in the Healthly Relationship forum, but,,,,,,, The sex hang-up does stem from my divorce! LOL
So here goes!
My question is why do men think it is all about sex? I consider myself a lady,, a real lady! I know,, a bit old fashioned in this day and age... But considering my past and allot of you know about my past.. I have decided about 15 years ago, that I literrally will not just jump into bed with the first available man that I meet! Well,, I have a fellow that I am in love with... I was told, not by this fellow, but by a male friend of mine, that I have not shown him that I love him, cause I have not had sex with him! This man and I share sooo much in every aspect! We talk about everything, or so I thought! We have been seeing each other almost two years... No there still has not been any sex! In May of this year he told me that he does not know how he feels about me,, he stated he loves me, but is not sure that he is in love with me. It is almost like, until we sleep together, he will not be able to make a commitment,(and I cannot sleep with him without one). He did not say this,, this other friend did! Is it true? Is it really all about sex, there does not have to be the emotional connection for him, that there has to be for me? Am I supposed to show him that I love him by sleeping with him?
Help me figure this out please!
And again, sorry for posting this here, I know it belongs in the Healthly Relationship forum, but,,,,,,, The sex hang-up does stem from my divorce! LOL
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I feel the love from him.. that is why it is confusing for me. I feel the love, but he cannot seem to admit to it! I know better than to push him for an answer. But deep inside, I would love that answer, more than anything else.. wouldn't that be an awsome Christmas present! Or am I livning in fantasy land? LOL
There is a great book to read about this, "The 5 Languages of Love", there is a version for both men and women.
It explains more about love and what is needed in a relationship. Takes about other qualities that are important.
"In May of this year he told me that he does not know how he feels about me,, he stated he loves me, but is not sure that he is in love with me."
If I were in your shoes and he hasn't said anything to improve on this statement since he said it, I would not sleep with him b/c to me it sounds like it would end up a "friends w/benefits" thing.
Like you, if there is a next time for me, I want it ALL. I want someone who is PRESENT in the relationship, I want a friend and as close to a soul mate as possible. I want my cake and then I want the icing!!
PS, I would disregard everything his 'friend' tells you b/c it is 2nd hand at best and no one knows what "games" other people play.
It's not a bad thing to care for someone and not be in love with them.It is a bad thing to try to make someone else conform to your ideals.That goes both ways.No blame just my opinion of how each of you is seeing it from your own points of view.
For me, I would not be in a relationship that long without making love.
No it's not everything, but it's not nothing either.
Good luck.