I recently broke up with my boyfriend after 5.5 yrsw. What I am about to write is the complete true story, and this isnt easy. We met 5.5 yrs ago. I should have seen it or left right there. The fall started the first time I spent the night at his house. Prior to this, it was magic; perfection! He left for work, and the phone rang. I though it was him, so I answered. It was a girl, asking for him. I found out later that day, when he got to my house, it was his ex-girlfriend back in PA. Ok, so he says they were broken up. Turns out, they were still talking. He claimed it was over for him, but apparently not for her. She called frequently. One day I saw his phone bill on the table, he asked me to file it away. I was wrong with this, but I looked at it and saw numerous calls to his ex. I questioned him about it, and of course it becamse my fault for looking. He said he was still talking to her to help her get over it. He didnt want to hurt her. I should have seen the flags when he told me, that that day she called, she called him immediatly on his cell, and asked who I was. He told her I was some girl his roommate brought home. Red Flag 1. After that, we fought alot about his ex. He went overseas to Europe and came back with a gift for her, her mother, and me. I was fummed. He said he was just being nice. Flag number 2. about maybe 8 months into the relationship, he met a girl he worked with. One night he came home late from work. (we didnt live together, he wouldnt allow that) but I stayed there frequently. He claimed he got in late from work, but he had left his cell next to my side of the bed. Bad thing #2, I looked at his cell, and surely enough, he and this girl had a late night call and later it came out they had met up. Then one day I was at his house, he was in the shower, the phone rang, and I answered it. It was the new girl. She asked for him, I told him he was unable to answer the phone. She then proceeded to call his cell over and over. He got out of the shower, and she started calling the house, the answering machine would pick up and she left many messages asking what was going on, and if she was still coming over later. I left and I was destroyed. However, he always kept in touch with me while he was with her. Then I was stupid, and I went back, and he promised me they were over. Then he decided to move closer into the city, and I found out she was helping him look for apt's b.c she "knew the area" so he said. She also helped him move to the new apt, which he told me he was doing on his own. Now knowing where he lived, she found every excuse to see him. She "always needed to talk". Then one day I was at his house, and she called the house telling me that the following day he had taken her to an abortion. She described things in the house, and said if I didnt believe her, there was a half eaten italian sub in the garbage. Sure enough, there was. He had told me, he had to work that day. I asked him about it when he got home, he claim clean, but said it wasnt his. When I asked him about what she said about paying for it, he says he paid for it, b/c she went there with cash and the clinic didnt accept cash. she was paying him back. i asked why he brought her, and he said it was because no one else was around and he felt bad for her. later on, i loked at his bank statements, and saw a withdrawal for 480 dollars out of his savings, then a redeposit back into his savings for 460. then on his cc statement, there was a 475 charge on his cc. i immediatly questioned him about htat, and he said it was because she had no money, and that she had definetly paid him back. That right there I should have dropped his you know what, and never looked back. But i was stupid. in due time, I was back. Long story short, he yelled at me about not finishing college. He wouldnt date me if I werent college educated. Then he would get on me abou tnot having a budget. Then his family accused me of stealing from them, which was completely false. I have nver and would never do such a thing. For those inquiring minds, I believe I was set up. I was at a costume jewelry party. I had a ring on, gave it back to the host, and at the end of the night, the ring was missing. I searched everywhere. I then flew home on a Sunday, and my ex the following day. when he flew home, he was unpacking his bag and the ring was in his suitcase. I was blamed for stealing it. um hello, if i was going to steal something, why would i plant it in his suitcase well knowing he was coming home a day later than me? anyways, other situations. He isnt the onyl bad person. For me to get through this, i have to be honest. Because I didnt trust him, I had a spare key to his house, so one day, i wanted to catch him. I knew something was going on, so I went ot his house, and I was looking for something. I didnt know what, but i knew i would find something. i checked his phone, like a psychotic idiot, and when i was leaving, he pulled intp the driveway and caught me. i froze and lied to him and said i came by to see him and the door was unlocked. A total lie, but i came clean and admitted it all to him. that has been the worst thing, i swear to you, that i have done. i want help, and i realizse i have to be 100% honest in order to get it. The other things i dealt with, when we would argue and split for a little bit, he would meet new women. he would lie to me about it, and say he was alone, then i would go to his house, and catch the women there. then we'd get back together, they would call the house, and we would all find out baout one another. they would tell me that they were "seeing" him, and he would say they were just friends. He even stooped down to the level once and lied to me and said he was going to England for work, which was believeable because he goes there often, one weekend, and he had a girl fly in to spend the weekend with him. i then was there the following monday. then one nihgt (we were fighting at the time) but we were together, and I wsa sleeping over, he said he was going to a going-away party, and he took a girl out on a date and then proceeded ot spend the rest of thee weekend with me. I knew he had been lying, b/c he kept calling his pda, and i saw her name on the incoming call, and i knew the names on his cell. I walked away, and went by one night to talk him and she was there cooking him dinner. She admitted to me about that night, and that confimred my suspicions abou thim really being on a date. Leter it came out that she had slept at his hosue on numerous occasions, and they would hang out. He claimed they were dating, just friends. Um, I dont know many girl sho sleep over the opposite sex's house as ust friends. and what kills me, is that she knew I was in his life, I jsut didnt know how much she was in his life. I was in complete denial. I finally aksed him, after I saw a text from a flight attendant in ny aksing when she could come see him. I asked him who meant more, me or them. He said, ok then, and hung up. I havent seen him since and that was around Thanksgiving. We have had arguments, and the hurt and still within me. I know I cant make him see it or or understand, but I truly wish I could. I dont get why he was no conscience about what he has done, or how he had hurt me. And waht slays me, is Im attractive,Im kind hearted, but meeting someonet aht I click with is merely next to impossible. But he meets someoen all the time. How???? I jsut wish he never existed and we never existed.
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