I finally talked to stbx for 15min in between his stopping at the house before going drinking. I told him that I didn't deserve to be treated this way. He agreed. He said he I dont deserve to be dragged thru the mud. He said no one has ever love or cared for hime so much. He knows he treats me terrible he just doesn't want to change and doesn't want this life. He said it was fine for awhile but its not who he is. He doesn't want to be here. I told him thats fine..I am not here to change his mind. I told him I empathize with things that are going on but for me being treated this way is unacceptable. I told him he needed to leave and that we need to talk and out of respect we need to talk more about it tonight...so don't plan anything. He agreed. He doesn't want the house or the cat....so that is nice. I hope I can afford the house on my own. I am pretty sure I can. But now...I am sad...I mean wailing, crying out sad, I am sad to give up the dreams I had for us, for the love we share, for the good times we've had that have been far and few between. My heart is broken. I try not to let him see me cry. It is so tough. But I told him I am done. He still wore his ring last night and today...suprise to me. I know there is no going back...to many bridges burned. Will time heal this or is this forever...I have the feeling I will always mourn what could have been...sorry this is long
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