
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Just as I expected would happen....
There was this woman that I met recently who was very sympathetic to me and was actually an ear to listen to me about my stbx and all of the problems that she caused me. She seemed very sincere to me and I actually considered her as a new friend (pretty good for me since I haven't made any new REAL friends in the REAL world in many years). I actually did the thing that I shouldn't have done and actually started to trust her. Then, just like with my stbx, some parts of her stories just didn't add up. Here we go again.... We were meeting in a public place and talking. We exchanged numbers after a few meetings. Then, I found out that the number she gave me was disconnected. I confronted her on it and she said she was working on getting it fixed. That was 2 weeks ago. Tonight, I caught her in SEVERAL lies (although she would not admit it) and she kept on insisting she was truthful. She had borrowed some money (I know--I should not have trusted her) and now she's giving me tons of excuses. I again confronted her about her number, and she lied again. I told her that she could at least tell me the truth--if she didn't want me to have her number, TELL ME. But, don't LIE. As for the money that she borrowed, it's the principle--not the amount.
Are there ANY women in South Florida that can actually tell me the truth instead of using me or feeling sorry for me and lieing?!?!?! I'm so tired of being told "what I want to hear" rather than "the truth."
So much for trusting women.....
There was this woman that I met recently who was very sympathetic to me and was actually an ear to listen to me about my stbx and all of the problems that she caused me. She seemed very sincere to me and I actually considered her as a new friend (pretty good for me since I haven't made any new REAL friends in the REAL world in many years). I actually did the thing that I shouldn't have done and actually started to trust her. Then, just like with my stbx, some parts of her stories just didn't add up. Here we go again.... We were meeting in a public place and talking. We exchanged numbers after a few meetings. Then, I found out that the number she gave me was disconnected. I confronted her on it and she said she was working on getting it fixed. That was 2 weeks ago. Tonight, I caught her in SEVERAL lies (although she would not admit it) and she kept on insisting she was truthful. She had borrowed some money (I know--I should not have trusted her) and now she's giving me tons of excuses. I again confronted her about her number, and she lied again. I told her that she could at least tell me the truth--if she didn't want me to have her number, TELL ME. But, don't LIE. As for the money that she borrowed, it's the principle--not the amount.
Are there ANY women in South Florida that can actually tell me the truth instead of using me or feeling sorry for me and lieing?!?!?! I'm so tired of being told "what I want to hear" rather than "the truth."
So much for trusting women.....
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Why don't you go get some counseling instead of trying to make friends with women who MAY try to take advantage of your grief!
Snowcrash, I have no horrific things to say to you. I also hold no sympathy for you. It hurts like hell doesn't it. I read your other post also, to should I breakup.
COUNSELING DOES NOT WORK. I have been in counseling for 20 years now, and I even waited MANY years between relationships and IT DID NOT WORK. IT HAS NEVER WORKED. Oh, and in less than 10 days, I'm losing my insurance (due to another "friend" who was just using me and is dropping me from insurance coverage at the most opportune time he possibly could), so I cannot afford counseling or meds or anything else anymore. Due to the financial situation of my business, I will no longer have the money to even put food on the table after I pay the rent this month, literally....
What do I want out of life? The same fair chance that most people get. I'm sick and tired of going just about anywhere and seeing people with loving families. I'm sick of seeing people kissing in public. I'm sick of seeing people holding hands. I'm sick of going everywhere ALONE. I'm sick of going to parties and at the end of the night, being the only one who gets to leave ALONE. (yes, all of my friends are in relationships).
I realize that I'm fat, ugly, disgusting, old looking, and not acceptible. But, I think I'm a nice guy. I have a heart of gold and I'd give my life for anyone who actually was a real friend. Don't I deserve the same fair chance as everyone else gets? Instead, all that happens is I get sh!t on by everyone just because they want to take advantage of my being a nice guy. I am NOT willing to change the way I am--it is how I feel EVERYONE SHOULD TREAT OTHERS.
I used to be a nice person. I used to be trusting and loving and happy. But, the women in my life over the last 20 years or so have created what I am today. I hope they're happy.
One of these days (probably REALLY soon), I'm just going to crack. I cannot hurt others, so I will just take it out on myself. And, when I do, I just hope that somehow EVERY SINGLE WOMAN who has done this to me gets to see the results of their creation and has to live with what they did to me for the rest of their lives. Including my wonderful stbx who felt it was ok to cheat on me in order to get her dreams fulfilled with another man. (she may witness it in person, if I have a chance).
After reading your last post to this thread I have to tell you that you need some help. First of all, feeling sorry for yourself is going to get you nowhere. Getting revenge on others by having them see you crack or whatever is not the way to go about this either.
When I was in my marriage I was unhappy and didn't even realize it. I was a bitter and angry person because of having a husband who acted like a child. Was this my ex husband's fault? NO!!! I am the one who controls myself. I had to be the one to find my happiness. When my ex left I thought my world was going to end. Once I began to love myself again it didn't matter so much anymore.
You need to find a way to love yourself. If you can not do that you will always let people treat you poorly. It is not a matter of it just being who you are. Many of us are nice, generous people but the bottom line is we love ourselves enough to not be taken advantage of.
When I got married, I was the happiest man alive. FINALLY I was getting something that I wanted. But, behind the scenes, my wife had a boyfriend. And, now, she's pregnant with his child. She moved in with him over the weekend. How was this my fault for not loving myself? I finally got what I wanted in life and it turned out to be nothing but a huge lie. That's ALWAYS what happens to me. It's not me feeling sorry for myself--it's the truth. People around me are absolutely amazed at the crappy luck I have with things like relationships. My wife KNEW that my biggest dream (in fact, the only thing important to me other than her) was to have a family--so, what does she do? She starts a family with someone else!!!!! I can't think of anything worse that someone can do to a person. And, it happens to me. I would have been better off if she was one of these wives who kill their husbands--at least the pain would be over finally... Now, I'm going to have to do it myself instead!
I'm very confused. ON the one hand, you say counsling doesn't work. Then you say there's no reason for you to change.
Right there is one major problem; therapy only works if you want to change. If you don't see any reason to, you're just having some very expensive heart-to-hearts with a stranger.
Then you go on to list how these women have repeatedly wronged you, and again, you see no reason to change anything on your part. If you keep doing the same things over and oer again, and you keep getting the same results over and over again...maybe something needs to change?
And then, to top it off, you keep saying thing that imply you're suicidal.
Is it possible you're not in the best mental state to honestly give yourself fully to a relationship? That's a lot of mental and emotional baggage to bring into a relationship and the other person hasn't even had a chance to get to know you yet.
I know you're lonely, that's obvious from what you've said here and in other places. But being in a relationship is not going to fix your problems. You need to be able to love yourself -first- and be happy by yourself before you have any chance at not only being happy with someone else, but also being able to just be with someone without making them the central focus on your life.
I'm sorry, but it's time you grow up and get real! I usually leave your discussions, but you some slack, but this is getting ridiculous.
You have some major soul searching to do and I would recommend you start looking at you for answers and quit blaming all woman for your own issues.
However. I blame nobody but myself. They didn't create the beast...I did. I'm learning to cope with the majority of those because I've taken that to heart.
Sadly when I read your threads I can feel your pain. But I.M.O. I also see somebody who wants everybody to fix his problems for him. It won't happen. Only you can do it, nobody is going to come along in your life and fix it all for you and kiss the boo boo and make everything right as rain. Time to stand up.
This morning, my stbx showed up to take her cat. And, we argued again. This time, she basically said that I am not welcome in her life anymore, unless her boyfriend approves and she doubts that he will because he's very protective of her. She says that's the Russian way and she allows him to treat her that way. She says he basically owns her. So, I really do have nothing.
I have 1 friend and I am going to push her away so she does not have to suffer with what happens to me. I am already pushing away what little of a family I have for the same reasons. I am tired of the emptiness and pain and I just cannot take it anymore.
Like someone said, counselors won't help unless I wanted them to. And, I don't want to change the way I am. I want people to respect me and treat me like they treat everyone else. I want the things that everyone else can have but I cannot. Being that is not going to happen, I am just going to find a way to end the pain. If that's cowardice, then I'm a coward. And, if that's selfish, then maybe this is the first time in my life that I actually WAS selfish about something. But, it's hard to call it selfish when nobody would notice anyways....
Best Of Luck To You!~!