I truly understand the pain you are going through as I have been separated for a little over 2 weeks myself and the best thing I can offer to you is to be confident in your self and that can be hard at times but also try to disconnect from her for a lil while and that will make her reflect on your marriage and the hurt IMO will pass a little more each day when you start to concentrate on yourself and not her and showing strength and for me this is working so far and is making her more curious and whatever you do DO Not beg and plead with her because A lady wants a strong man and IMO , pleading shows desperation and you may not want to show that.As far as the song is concerned I have been listening to one as well by RTZ called until your love comes back around and I have shed tears to this song as well and we all need to do that sometimes...
You are in my prayers.
Tim

I understamd the hurt. And I am sorry for your pain. I agree with Tim. Do not beg or plead. I have done thst and it does not work and is not attractive. Take care of yourself. Do stuff and get out even if you don't feel like it.

The hurt will pass. She may have said it was the weight but that may just be an excuse especially if you were the same weight when you met her. I gained weight during my relationship my stbx complained abut it. I lost the weight, got sincere compliments from everyone but my stbx and after the weight was gone she came up with another reason to have an affair and want a seperation. I asked for a divorce.
If yo want to lose the weight do it for yourself. She may not appreciate it

HG!!!!

come explain why he shouldn't play that over and over!!

First of all, it's James Blunt. That should be a reason for tossing it out right off the bat.
Then there's the fact that all you're doing is perpetuating the pain by listening to it over and over again.
I know when we're in pain (especially the emotional kind) we tend to hone in on music that reflects how we feel. But this can be self-defeating sometimes.

The pain will pass, but you have to give it time. Sorry, but that's the only cure for it. Distance between you and what's causing you this pain is the only way you will get any relief.

I know you still care about this woman, but you deserve better than that, especially from someone who claimed to care about you but let something superficial get in the way of her remaining faithful to you. It's a pretty pathetic excuse for straying from her vows to you.

I am sorry for the heartache that you are suffering. I can't help thinking that most of us would consider a guy a "pig" and shallow if he left someone over their weight. I disagree with Tim. Not all women want a "strong" man. I have seen so many marriages fail because they guy was too busy being strong that he refused to go to counseling, refused that things needed to change when he should have been letting the woman know that he loved her and that he would do anything that she needed to keep the relationship together. In all of these cases, the woman gave so much more than the man did throughout the marriage. She took care of everything and he took her for granted. It doesn't sound like this was the case for you. She was unfaithful. You might want to assess whether or not it is worth fighting for. If it is, don't hold back. Don't keep some false macho image because you think that is what women want. I think what most women want is someone to really love them.

tipote is so right about the weight. I stayed and was happy with my XSO when he was over 500 pounds. It's kind of a flip with me. He lost 260 through gastric bypass...and now he moved on.

You sound like a great guy and it sounds like she's got issues. Personally I like James Blunt, but he's probably not good for you right now. Perhaps you should put on some William Shatner....you'll still be crying but it will be a different kind of tears. *smile* I feel your pain and hugs to you!

I'm so sorry. One thing I thought of, reading your story, is that the weight may not be the real issue. My stbx had an affair also, and around that time he suddenly had a list of things that he told me I needed to change about myself. I didn't know about the affair at that point, but later on I realized that it was probably why he was suddenly wanting me to change.

In your case, it sounds like you were roughly the same weight when you and she first got together, and it wasn't an issue then.

I wish I had some great advice to give you, but there is no easy answer. I will say that I learned from painful experience that begging and pleading does NOT work. If anything it makes things worse, because then they lose respect for you.

Try to concentrate on yourself and what YOU want to do with your life. After you get a little more distance from the situation, you may begin to realize that you're better off without her.

Hang in there, and just know that you're not alone in this.

This actually puts me in the mind of the old George Jones tune "he stopped loving her today". Unfortunately, you have so much to go through. Everything in your life right now is brand new. Your weight is only an excuse and not the reason she is leaving and sleeping around. This was the kind of woman she was anyway. I won't speak ill of her because I don't know her but this speaks volumes about her not you. At some point you're going to have to love yourself enough to let her go. Music can be healing as well as damaging. When you get angry you'll switch to an angry song. Don't get stuck in the music, don't get stuck in the pain. You're gonna hurt for a long time and I'm sorry for that but don't love her more than you love yourself.