I called the STBX and asked him to a dinner meeting so we could discuss the separation papers that he has thus far refused to sign. It's been a year and a half since we lived in the same house and still he refuses. I made him move out because of his cocaine addiction. So last night I asked him where he saw this thing going and he told me he still had hope for our marriage. I wanted to laugh but contained myself. We barely speak, I have to show up at his work on payday to get any money for child support, he saw our two kids for the first time in almost a year two weeks ago and the big finish..... he has done nothing to work on his drug problem or our marriage! God help me! I told him that I did not see anyway possible to salvage our relationship especially when he had done nothing to even pretend to be working on things. We can barely talk to each other civilly. He always wants to blame me for everything that was wrong and while I am willing to accept that I am not perfect and made mistakes, I refuse to accept 100% of the blame here. The part that really blew me away in this whole discussion was when it said that he started taking cocaine because it was the one thing that I couldn't control. So he started out of spite? I am supposed to carry that burden? I just want to move on. Thanks for letting me vent.
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