I know that this subject comes up all the time and so forgive me. I was doing ok for awhile and had actually made it thruough the first year since he left me and then he got in touch that he only had $27 bucks left to his name and so despite being on disability I sent him $800 which put me in a hole. The short story is my parents died and then his parents died all within 6 months of each other. He found a trailer and land in the middle of nowhere and I bought it. came home from a appt to find him packing and he was gone the next day. I've seen him second. the last time I went to hug him and he recoiled like I had a disease.He's been able to just dismiss me and go on with his life and I still cry every day. Before I met him it took 6 years from the break up of my marriage to meet him. Will 6 years now will put me in my 60's. I tried eharmony, no hits. A jewish dating service, no hits. I'm a loser. I have a woman that helps clean my house and as soon as she leaves I cry cause she's going home to a husband and a child. I want to die from the loneiness. I don't know anyone in this area and they are very strange about using volunteers...I've called 6 places and refused since I don't have a "local" person to sstand up for me. I'm so lonely that death is the only answer. If I have to live alone for the next 5 years then what. Suggestions? Help? I wish that God would just tell me the truth and say yes Susan this is the best it will get....you're done...you'll have an ok life, but you'll always been alone. Then me and the gun will have a date. So far the animals have kept me alive and now not even them are enough...how do you handle the loneliness??? Please help.
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