Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I have to be Honest.

deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok, regarding what was said, so far, on the post "Support for US...Help please" that I wrote, I think that it is completely true that you understand her side.

We have been married for 9 years this month and been together 11 years...since I was 16 and her 17. Throughout that time, I admit that I have not been the best partner. I have put myself in situations in which I acted as though I was single, kissed 3 different girls (2 of which, actually kissed me and I walked away....the other one was my big mistake), been caught surfing the Adultfriendfinder.com web site twice, and went through a period of time while she was pregnant with our second daughter in which I did not find her sexually arousing to me. This last one was due to the fact that she was always mad at everything and no matter how much I tried to support, or attempt to make her happy, she just got extremely mad. Just after we found out that she was pregnant, she stopped taking her anti-deppressants even though she did not have to. The doctor told me that they would have been fine. Anyways, that is what turned me off.

My mistakes were immature and, I believe, due to the fact that I did not experience alot of life before marriage. I woke up to my behavior one year ago and have tried my best to treat her as a husband should. When we got to Fort Bliss, she fell into a deep depression because she could not find a job. She then met a man online and went to him. After that, she took our kids home to Dallas. I know that she is feeling guilty about what she did. She says that she is questioning our marriage and love......and possibly worried that if she does return to me, that I will do something to hurt her for what she did. She is making the decision to dissolve our marriage out of fear....and it is unfounded. She had forgivin me for all of my transgressions, but she seems to be using them as an enabler to stay away. I am not perfect, but I am willing to try and be a better husband and father.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow...I WAS a shit....I feel better for saying the truth, though....I guess now all there is to do is try and change those shortcomings.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Have you tried couples counseling? You said she forgives you, but I wonder if she really does. You might need a little professional help to get back to a healthy relationship. I wish the best for you and for her! Big hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, I'm not sure what to say other than that was a HUGE step that you took the time to sift through all of the shit. You ARE doing the work that is needed to heal,whether that includes both of you as a couple or not.

I can see her fear in this and can relate to it. I say that not to berate you, but rather just communicate where she is coming from.

The only thing you can do at this point is to keep doing what you are doing....the only peeps we can "fix" are ourselves. If you truly want her back, hold her in your heart and keep up the great work. She may just need some time, but I will tell you she also needs to see the changes, not just hear about them. Best of luck to you...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would like to add something here. I have never been sexually intimate with any other since we have been together. Anytime that I had the opportunity, I walked away. I do truly love and cherish her. I do believe that I was stupid at times, but I also believe that I learned from those mistakes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Seems you have had a breakthrough and it also seem like that is what she is looking for too. Definitely as her to go to counseling and figure it out so you to can get back together. You do love each other, you have history together, you have children. If there is a way to work this out, then you should try. Just my two cents worth. Do it for the kids as much as for yourselves. Everyone will be happier.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think what made these things confusing is that she brought another into OUR marriage. I was too mad to see my mistakes.....too much focusing the blame on her. She, of course, was doing the same, but the way I look at it......let it be in the past. We have a love that runs deeper than I could ever imagine. We are great friends and wonderful lovers. I do not want to lose that due to the mistakes we made.
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