Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
the attorney's offcie wants me to start thinking about alot of things. c/s and alimony of course i need. but what about what to do with the house and retirement assets. he has a 401k , do i ask for 1/2? I kinda feel like he owes me since i used most to all my inheritance on this house. and as for the house, i would like to stay here for x amt of years so the kids can stay in school and not have to move on top of everything else. he'd like me to go to an apartment and sell the house and he says id pay for the apartment with the ali and cs. hes losing it! no judge will allow that i dont think. what do y'all think ? why would i agree to using all the ali for an apartment? then theres medical vs. cobra. ive been told cobra is very expensive. i think i may go with the insurance from my work for me and let him pay for the kids.
deleted_user
I've been told its better for the kids to try to stay in the house they are living. As far as 401K in CT at least you are entitled to half. I only took 1/4 because we did it through mediation and it was a sticking point with him plus I have more earning potential over the years. I would definitely get your own insurance over cobra, it is wicked expensive. Just my personal opinions, but you asked :)
deleted_user
There is always a lot to consider in a divorce. You will not get exactly what you want, or what seems fair. I am not sure about the laws in your state but, from my experience, the courts will allow you to remain in the marital home until the children become adults. However, you will be responsible for helping pay the mortgage. Or, the court will have the home sold and the proceeds divided. If a 401k was established during the marriage, I would ask for 1/2 of it. However, I might not want to cash it out because of the tax consequences for early withdrawal. You may want to check out your local library or law library to read up on the laws in your state. Or, you may want to get a 2nd legal opinion.
deleted_user
Sit down and make a budget for yourself to see what you really need. I agree that it would be best for the kids if they can remain in their home. As for the 401k and retirement, that probably depends on your age and whether you have a personal 401k and retirement plan as well as his. If you are young enough to start working on your own retirement planning, maybe you can work it out so you take less of that and are able to stay in the house. The state laws are pretty specific but it is all about compromise if you don't want to spend a fortune in attorney fees.
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