personally, I would tell the kids---chemo isn't easy to go through and I'm sure you are going to need support. *HUGS to you* I can't imagine what you are dealing with right now---I hope being here is a source of strength for you!

Honesty is the best. Tell you older children and wife. It may be best to tell the younger ones with the two of you present. Help them research the disease and tell them exactly how the treatment works. Hope all works well for you.

I am so sorry. I hope things turn a around for the better.
Speaking from a daughter's perspective, I would not want my dad to keep this from me. I would want to know right away.
I will be thinking of you. Stay strong.

i too think the kids have the right to know the truth. as hard as it may be to tell them, i understand. you may be surprised at the amount of support and love they will give you in your time of need. i always underestimate my kids. they always handle everything better than i ever could have expected. i say give them a chance, you will need them! *HUGS*

OMG.... I am here for you if you need an ear!
As far as who to tell,, I know you need to,, you need your support system! Chemo is tough,, been there and am on Radiation at this time,, please tell your kids at least!

oh, as for your stbx....the kids will probably tell her themselves...

I agree with the others. Secrets eventually come out, and never at a good time. Someday, your kids will wonder why you were so sick, and might not understand why you kept it from them.

Even your 10 yo should be told. Ask the staff at their schools if you need help talking to them. In fact, it may help all of them to have a couple of sessions with you and a family counselor.

Hugs and prayers and best wishes for successful treatment.

I would sit everyone down together and let them know. The children are your family and they deserve to know and your ex needs to know so she can help support them emotionally through this. You should not go through this alone. I will put you in my prayers please keep us posted on your progress.

You have to do a few things first.

Make out your Will.
Leave your Estate to your children In Trust.
Find a Trustee or Trustees. They could be your parents or your siblings.. or a best friend. Someone who will take care of your assets and make sure your children are well provided for.

Second.. Make sure your Beneficiaries on your Insurance policies are In Trust to your Children again... list the name of Trustee or Trustees that will handle your funds for the children.

The reason I am telling you this is because.. at this point.. your STBEX gets everything.. and you have no gurantees that your children will ever see the funds.

I have just done this. I had Cancer .. in remission now. I currently have a heart condition. My Ex is a shopaholic.. and I know that any funds from my Estate will not go to my daughters, ages 7, 9, 12.

The EX will get the minor children... and in the divorce.. he gets their estate. But my Will states that my estate will be held In Trust with a friend for my kids.

Tell your children. Be straight-forward with them... there is unknown with your future.. your health issues... tell them that. Kids need to get the facts.. so do not hold back.
Scary as it may be.. they need to know.

There is no need to tell your STBEX. The kids will tell her soon enough.

If anything, she may be counting on the fact that you have her still listed as your beneficiary. So go get your paperwork changed now. Take care of yourself and your children.

The eldest ones.. they will come around. Give them time.

Prayers for you and for what you are having to go through. I don't know how you are dealing with so much. I would also tell my kids.

You can't control what other people think about your motivations. So don't let it worry you.

You should tell your kids and your wife. You are still married.

Let me give you some perspective from someone who lost her husband 14 yrs ago from Chronic Mylo Leukemia.

We found out about his Leukemia 1 week after our son was born. Yes, nothing like finding our your husband is going to die in 3 yrs after bringing a new life into this world!

He lived for 9, but we never really told our children the seriousness of his disease, nor did we prepare them for his death. We thought we were protecting them.

14 years later, I am here to tell you I wish we handled a whole lot of things differantly, so I would emplore you tell your wife and kids what is happening in your life. If not for yourself, for them! PLEASE!

The impact down the line on their lives is something you might have a positive affect with. Not to mention, the support and love your children should be able to share with you during this difficult enough time already! Let them show you how much they love you now, for you never know what twists and turns life will bring.

I wish you all the success during your chemotherapy and may your success rate be 100%.

Oh wow,flash back to just last week....I was about to be given the exact same diagnosis and have been going through all of the testing through this just until this week......

I know how scary this is and what you are feeling. I'm nto sure I have the right answer for you, but can only speak from my own personal feelings that I had through this diagnosis.

i did NOT want to tell stbx either. He knew there was a possibility of this disease (through my MIL) but I NEVER spoke to him about ANY of it. Not of the testing, dr. appts. nothing. I did not want him to know for many reasons. Mainly because he was my abuser, why should he know? Just to use that against me too?...and he did...

I was preparing myself to go through this alone ....and that is what I wanted.

I think your children deserve to know what is happening to you. I think that is only fair to all of you. As far as stbx...thats a touchy one.... I wouldnt say anything, and like everyone else says, she will find out in time anyway.

I would however, begin to prepare yourself emotionally for this. Very very difficult to do. Make a plan and stick with it. You need to take care of YOU and no one else right now.

I wish you the absolute best in your healing and a recovery of 150% Let me know if you should need anything....

I would definately say something to the children and the wife. Then there are no surprises later on. If you don't tell them, and they find out later, they might be upset that you didn't confide in them.

i think that honesty is always the best road to take. my daughter is going through chemo right now for breast cancer and i see what it does to her, you may need some help. you should not go through this alone. right now, you must focus on yourself and your children, you don't need any other stress. God Bless You. don't keep things from your kids. my ex does that and i can tell you it really pisses my adult children off.