
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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I found out recently that my cancer is no longer stabalized. I need to have chemo again. I have
CLL (a type of Leukemia). My conflict is this..My wife and kids don't know...I have lost a lot of weight but they think it's due to divorce stress.
I am inclined to go thru chemo and see what happens..if it looks good then I have good news for those who should know. If it looks bad then I realize I must tell some..I will tell my kids.
They are ages 10/14/19/20. The complication here is my wife who has and is cheating on me has somehow turned our daughters (19 & 20) against me.
I moved out soon after I found my wife was having an affair and was not the least bit remorseful when I confronted her. My daughters have not talked with me since I moved out. They do not live home. I don't want to tell the younger ones as they have enough uncertainty in their world.
I would really appreciate some feedback here as I can't think very straight at the moment.
Thank you and God Bless
CLL (a type of Leukemia). My conflict is this..My wife and kids don't know...I have lost a lot of weight but they think it's due to divorce stress.
I am inclined to go thru chemo and see what happens..if it looks good then I have good news for those who should know. If it looks bad then I realize I must tell some..I will tell my kids.
They are ages 10/14/19/20. The complication here is my wife who has and is cheating on me has somehow turned our daughters (19 & 20) against me.
I moved out soon after I found my wife was having an affair and was not the least bit remorseful when I confronted her. My daughters have not talked with me since I moved out. They do not live home. I don't want to tell the younger ones as they have enough uncertainty in their world.
I would really appreciate some feedback here as I can't think very straight at the moment.
Thank you and God Bless
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Speaking from a daughter's perspective, I would not want my dad to keep this from me. I would want to know right away.
I will be thinking of you. Stay strong.
As far as who to tell,, I know you need to,, you need your support system! Chemo is tough,, been there and am on Radiation at this time,, please tell your kids at least!
Even your 10 yo should be told. Ask the staff at their schools if you need help talking to them. In fact, it may help all of them to have a couple of sessions with you and a family counselor.
Hugs and prayers and best wishes for successful treatment.
Make out your Will.
Leave your Estate to your children In Trust.
Find a Trustee or Trustees. They could be your parents or your siblings.. or a best friend. Someone who will take care of your assets and make sure your children are well provided for.
Second.. Make sure your Beneficiaries on your Insurance policies are In Trust to your Children again... list the name of Trustee or Trustees that will handle your funds for the children.
The reason I am telling you this is because.. at this point.. your STBEX gets everything.. and you have no gurantees that your children will ever see the funds.
I have just done this. I had Cancer .. in remission now. I currently have a heart condition. My Ex is a shopaholic.. and I know that any funds from my Estate will not go to my daughters, ages 7, 9, 12.
The EX will get the minor children... and in the divorce.. he gets their estate. But my Will states that my estate will be held In Trust with a friend for my kids.
Tell your children. Be straight-forward with them... there is unknown with your future.. your health issues... tell them that. Kids need to get the facts.. so do not hold back.
Scary as it may be.. they need to know.
There is no need to tell your STBEX. The kids will tell her soon enough.
If anything, she may be counting on the fact that you have her still listed as your beneficiary. So go get your paperwork changed now. Take care of yourself and your children.
The eldest ones.. they will come around. Give them time.
You should tell your kids and your wife. You are still married.
We found out about his Leukemia 1 week after our son was born. Yes, nothing like finding our your husband is going to die in 3 yrs after bringing a new life into this world!
He lived for 9, but we never really told our children the seriousness of his disease, nor did we prepare them for his death. We thought we were protecting them.
14 years later, I am here to tell you I wish we handled a whole lot of things differantly, so I would emplore you tell your wife and kids what is happening in your life. If not for yourself, for them! PLEASE!
The impact down the line on their lives is something you might have a positive affect with. Not to mention, the support and love your children should be able to share with you during this difficult enough time already! Let them show you how much they love you now, for you never know what twists and turns life will bring.
I wish you all the success during your chemotherapy and may your success rate be 100%.
I know how scary this is and what you are feeling. I'm nto sure I have the right answer for you, but can only speak from my own personal feelings that I had through this diagnosis.
i did NOT want to tell stbx either. He knew there was a possibility of this disease (through my MIL) but I NEVER spoke to him about ANY of it. Not of the testing, dr. appts. nothing. I did not want him to know for many reasons. Mainly because he was my abuser, why should he know? Just to use that against me too?...and he did...
I was preparing myself to go through this alone ....and that is what I wanted.
I think your children deserve to know what is happening to you. I think that is only fair to all of you. As far as stbx...thats a touchy one.... I wouldnt say anything, and like everyone else says, she will find out in time anyway.
I would however, begin to prepare yourself emotionally for this. Very very difficult to do. Make a plan and stick with it. You need to take care of YOU and no one else right now.
I wish you the absolute best in your healing and a recovery of 150% Let me know if you should need anything....