my divorce is almost final. we spent the better part of our separation still hanging out together on weekends w/ our daughter and still sleeping together yet living under different roofs. then we had a mediation and agreed upon a separtion and custody agreement and completely cut out any time together. during that time he dated someone for 4 months, the same person...and he lied about it. i went on a few dates, but had nothing serious. 4 months after the agreement was made i moved into my new home..e wanted to come by and see it so we scheduled for him to pick up our daughter from me on a friday night and he wanted to bring dinner. he stayed for hours. he had that look in his eyes. i cried. he held my hand and put his head on my shoulder. we sat side by side on the stairs for over an hour like this. he kissed me. he kept saying he was sorry. then he left. he called later and i ended up over there and we slept together for the first time in 4 months. the next few weeks we did some family things together and he and i continued to have sex a few times...finally i said he had to make a decision...give it a chance to maybe work it out and this needed to end. he told me the door was back open, but made no promises. this is what i had waited for. i spent halloween with his family and his sister and i began to talk again. he had me over for dinner one night and we all watched a movie...then my daughter and i went away for thanksgiving. when i came back i could tell something was up. i invited him to my work xmas party to join me and our daughter. he said he couldnt bc he had an xmas party that a girl we went to high school with throws every year. i told him that if her party was more imp than spending time w his daughter and wife then where were we. he sent me a text at work saying "i just can't do this. i just can't. im sorry." the next day he told me about the girl he had dated. said he had broke it off bc she wanted commitment and he told her he still had feelings for me. so he left her. came back to me. left me. and is now back with her...and i have to watch as his life goes on and he parties every weekend and brings her into our home...i am miserable. i have tried to hate him...but i can't. i love him. i can't let go of something that is gone. i cry constantly..he just texted me and i started to cry..why can't i let go???
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