Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user 10/30/2007

I HATE HIM! I WANT TO TXT HIM ALL THE HATEFUL THINGS THAT I FEEL TOWARDS HIM. HE CALLED ME A WHORE AND MADE ME ACTUALLY FEEL THAT WAY BECAUSE I ONLY WAITED 2 MONTHS AFTER DATING SOMEONE TO SLEEP WITH HIM. HE TOLD ME THE DAY BEFORE I CAUGHT HIM IN THE ACT THAT HE WASNT SEEING NO ONE LIKE THAT. IT WOULD BE A LONG TIME B4 HE WOULD SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AGAIN! WE HAD A COUNSELING APPOINTMENT THAT DAY AT 10 O CLOCK. IT WAS THE ANNIVERSARY OF A DEVASTATING MISCARRIAGE! I HAD THE MISCARRIAGE ON OCTOBER 23, 2004 @ 7:43A.M. I FOUND HIM WHORING AROUND ON OCTOBER 23, 2007 WHEN I ARRIVED AT HIS HOUSE IT WAS 7:40 A.M. (JUST LEFT WORK) IM SO HURT! HOW COME IT WAS OK FOR HIM TO JUST JUMP IN THE BED WITH SOME WHORE! THE SAME BED WE SLEPT ON WITH OUR NEWBORN DAUGHTER!! THE SAME BED I SET UP! THE SAME BED WE SLEPT IN 1 AND 2 NIGHTS BEFORE. THE SAME BED WE HAD OUR MOST INTIMATE DISCUSSIONS AND MOMENTS ON!!! I HATE HIM SO BAD!! I AM TRYING TO HIDE IT! TO MASK IT UNDER A SMILE! IM NOT GOOD AT THIS! I DIDNT CALL HIM ALL DAY UNTIL MY 4 YEAR OLD TOLD ME SHE WANTED TO LEAVE DADDY A MESSAGE, I CALLED AND 1 OUT A MILLION TIMES HE ACTUALLY ANSWERED!! I NEVER EXPECTED THIS. I HATE HIM! FORGIVE, FORGIVE EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE EVERYONE SAYS TO ME!! HOW, HOW DO YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO BEGGED YOU BACK, WHO MADE YOU DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS AND THEN DUMPS YOU ON YOUR FACE!! MAN I JUST NEEDED TO VENT. I DONT WANT TO CALL! I DONT WANT TO GIVE HIM THAT SATISFACTION! HE BRAGGED TO HIS SISTER TODAY THAT HE IS DATING SOMEONE ELSE! WHY! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT! HE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY TO CONSIDER THAT WHORES FEELINGS!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO TO HER IF I SAW HER! SHE COULD HAVE BEEN WOMAN ENOUGH TO COME TO MY FACE WHEN I CAUGHT THEM! HE COULD HAVE BEEN MAN ENOUGH!! THEY ARE BOTH SCARED LITTLE PUNKS!! I DONT KNOW! IM SO HURT!! I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT, IM SORRY IF THIS IS OR SOUNDS CRAZY IM JUST SO SAD!

deleted_user 10/30/2007

look at the bright side he is her headache now not yours:)
when my ex got arrested ho wanted me to bail him out of jail i told her you wanted him
you got him you deal with him
man it felt good to say that.

i told her at least i can find my own man dont have to steal someone elses. which makes me
more of a woman than her.
as for her feeling who cares they dont care about yours.
hating is normal 6 yrs later i
still hate mine. and will not be in the same building as him and sure wont talk to him.
be prepared when she dumps him he will want you back. always happens.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

your feelings and emotions are normal and commom among all whom they exprtienced your situations.I can even name the steps once you figure your partner has cheated on you. first you feel huge amount of pain through your body, seriously your body ache for days then comes to feeling of sadness and confusion once you pass that, then you start feeling hurt and sorry for diffrent reasons then there is anger and after that moment of silence.I think it is in that zone that you have the opportunity to decide wheather forgive your partner or not and i have to tell you how long each step takes is absolutly depened on how much of an efford your partner is putting in to relationship for you to pass all that and forgive him. I hope this personal experience will help you to take control of your emotions and do what is best for you.the sooner you get over it the sooner you know what you want to do.and one last thing, it is common reaction of cheaters to blame their selfish act on their partner. what did you expect!? that he is gonna tell you, he is sorry and he made a mistake and you are a wonderful person? that would be for some one who truely loves you and takes resposibility for his mistake. I could be wrong but all cheaters at first do regret that they got cought rather then actualy feeling bad for what they've done. good luck to you.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

Shad's right. And, most cheatee's take it and actually begin to feel responsible. Regardless of what went on in our marriage (there was no abuse from my side of it), I did not commit the irresponsible and sinful act.

The hate is normal. Usually it seems to eventually turn into a sort of pity for the pathetic individual the allow themselves to become.

Hang in there. You've just inspired my journal entry for today!

deleted_user 10/30/2007

This man is not healthy. He is only focused on himself and using any excuse to make himself feel like it's ok to go on with his disrespectful life. Don't accept his disrespect for you. Something has changed and you deserve a man who is faithful. This is not this man. Don't accept his blame His choice to cheat is not your fault. There are countless men out there who stay faithful in challenging times. We did not pick one of them. But now you have the chance to free your life of the pain of his hurtful acts of selfishness. Let him go. I can't forgive yet but I'm more resigned. In time we will heal and be stronger.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

First, it is OK TO BE ANGRY. You know HATE is a form of... you guessed it, LOVE. So, to really surpass these feelings you need to become indifferent. You need to realize he didn't do this to you but himself. You are angry and going through a breakup and upset at the miscarriage, I am sorry for. You don't need to rush out and be with another person, and how'd he find out about it? Why would you rush into another situation to compromise your own self just to do has he did? It don't make it right and you have to just work on you and not worry about him or anyone else, or involve yourself in conversations from your ex to be or ex. let it all go. Do NOT confront or contact the other person. It'll make it worse.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

Too many jump right into another relationship before dealing with the current one. He will hit bottom and deal with it when you are long gone. You will be happy then and he will have the cold reality of it all.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

That is awful, maybe we should introduce my stbx with yours. They seem to be the same kind of people.

CanadianRose 10/30/2007

Blazin.. it's really okay to vent.. go on.. get it all out.

Nothing we have not heard before or some of us have said before.

Vent away, I am so sorry about your loss, the miscarriage and your idiot of a cheating piece of shit spouse.

be strong... and let it all out!

deleted_user 10/30/2007

He is projecting his whoredom onto you. Ignore him. If there is one thing that inspires my contempt for any man, it is the inability to keep his pants up.

deleted_user 10/30/2007

Thank you guys so much for your inspiring words of wisdom, i know I wasnt married but really we acted as if we were and it hurts. I want to thank you all. Today he called and told me his head was really messed up (form of headache) and he had an aneurysm before that he was scared. I told him that hes getting what he deserves that he is being punished that ever since he slept with that whore he has been sick, then I started getting scared. what if he had some bleeding in his head again or something...so i started being sympathetic and he told me after he saw i was getting scared,"o my "friend" is going to get my daughter so she can come take care of me!!!" I started screaming at him why would you tell me that!! he said I need to know my boundaries!!! WTF! i dont call him I dont txt him unless its about the baby! i dont go over there!! WHY!! he is getting what he deserves I dont wish bad on him but I dont think GOD will let this asshole go unpunished!! I pray he gets what he deserves.It broke my heart today, me and my daughter were at the dinner table and I usually dont pray but we started and you know what she prayed for?? She says dear god please make my daddy love my mommy so we can be a happy family. Please help my mommy not to be sad. and please let daddy come to my trick or treat party tomorrow!" my heart dropped. Shes 4. I dont know what to do. I have a therapy appointment set up for the both of us but what does that do for now?!

deleted_user 10/31/2007

I have been there I still hate mine but he isn't worth my time or emotions you will get to that point and it will feel great.

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