I can\'t take it anymore. It\'s been 4 months and he\'s all I ever think about from the moment I fall asleep to the time I wake up. He\'s completely moved on and wants nothing to do with me. I\'ve been suffering from manic depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder for as long as I can remember and this is just the breaking point for me. I just moved back to school where I have no friends, I live in a jail cell (dorm room) and I have so far to go until I graduate and I\'m just sick of school and life. I can\'t forget about my ex and I know I never will. He was my dream guy. I can\'t distract myself from thinking about him or any of my other insecurities. I\'ve had it. I have nothing. I\'m completely alone. I\'m so sad. My problems have kept me from doing so many things and apparently they chase guys i really care for away. I\'m really a lazy and self absorbed person who\'s never satisfied and always changes her mind so I know in my heart (and everyone else knows it too from my past actions) that I will never amount to anything. I will never be happy. I\'m ready to give up for good. I\'ve lost my faith in the existence of God. I\'m lost, i\'m helpless, meds don\'t work, therapy doesnt work, i\'m out of options. I\'m out of control now. I\'m so ready to end my own life. My mom wants me to go to the hospital but if I do that I have to leave school which will make me lose my insurance which will just screw me over. I\'ve had it with this life. I give up...
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