Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today I sat in church and cried and cried thru the whole thing. I give up. I'd had this dream of him sitting beside me in church. That's the way it's supposed to be, since he was supposed to be here with us on the 5th!!! The whole time thru communion I was praying and crying and crying. I couldn't stop the damn tears because he was supposed to be there with us. He had even started going to church back home, and was always calling me and telling me about the lesson he learned and how they gave him this really nice Bible with his name engraved in it and he was so excited. Wow...
On the way home my oldest said, "You know mom, I don't understand, why does it always seem that the good people, the ones that go to church, are always getting hurt, and the ones that don't go to church, like dad, always have the good life." Then she said, "Maybe it's meant to be that way, and you'll get your good life in Heaven." Yeah, maybe she's right, but am I supposed to suffer for the next 30 or 40 years until that time? I know life isn't supposed to be easy but does the Lord really want us to suffer that much? What's the purpose then??
Why do the ones that walk away from their famiies, get blessed with another family? How is that right? Shouldn't they be the ones that are punished for giving away their families instead of being rewarded with another one? Instead, we're the ones that are punished? I am just really struggling with this. It's okay to dump this family, because God will just grace me with another???
I opened up my Bible randomly last night, bawling my eyes out, and the page I turned to was John 15. I had highlited on that page, 'If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you' (John 15:7) and 'I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.' (John 15:16). So, what am I missing here.
I read thru so many Proverbs that talk about the wicked being punished and the righteous will prosper. It says the Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous. In so many places it talks about the evil not prospering, so why is my X prospering and so happy?
I'm sorry, I just am so dang confused. I keep holding on and having faith and believing, but it doesn't make sense to me why he's the one that's so happy.
On the way home my oldest said, "You know mom, I don't understand, why does it always seem that the good people, the ones that go to church, are always getting hurt, and the ones that don't go to church, like dad, always have the good life." Then she said, "Maybe it's meant to be that way, and you'll get your good life in Heaven." Yeah, maybe she's right, but am I supposed to suffer for the next 30 or 40 years until that time? I know life isn't supposed to be easy but does the Lord really want us to suffer that much? What's the purpose then??
Why do the ones that walk away from their famiies, get blessed with another family? How is that right? Shouldn't they be the ones that are punished for giving away their families instead of being rewarded with another one? Instead, we're the ones that are punished? I am just really struggling with this. It's okay to dump this family, because God will just grace me with another???
I opened up my Bible randomly last night, bawling my eyes out, and the page I turned to was John 15. I had highlited on that page, 'If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you' (John 15:7) and 'I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.' (John 15:16). So, what am I missing here.
I read thru so many Proverbs that talk about the wicked being punished and the righteous will prosper. It says the Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayers of the righteous. In so many places it talks about the evil not prospering, so why is my X prospering and so happy?
I'm sorry, I just am so dang confused. I keep holding on and having faith and believing, but it doesn't make sense to me why he's the one that's so happy.
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I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Easter Prayer for Renewal
Lord, send me a surprise.
One that catches me off guard
and makes me wonder.
Like Easter.
Send me a resurrection
when everything looks dead and buried.
Send me light
when the night seems too long.
Send me spring
when the cold and frozen season
seems endless.
Send me an idea
when my mind is empty.
Send me a thing to do
when I am just waiting around.
Send me a new friend
when I am alone.
Send me peace
when I'm afraid.
Send me a future
when it looks hopeless.
Send me Your resurrection
when I die, Jesus.
- Rev. Dr. Herbert Brokering
I also agree that his life may not all it seems to be. It hurts that he has somebody and you don't, but look at his past. I don't think he'll ever really be happy, and what happened to you will probably happen to her.
Cold, heartless people are destined for each other. Leave us good people alone. We can do better.
On my computer I have several sayings. One of my favorite is "Let whatever happens be okay."
By accident I saw one of his weeking pictures. Let me tell you. "We reap what we sow" is written all over his face. He looks about 10 years older than the last time I saw him, which was just a little before Christmas.
Also, he and his new wife missed their flight home from the wedding in Hawaii. Instead of a direct first class flight home they had to fly coach and had a layover in LA. Their home is in Illinois!!!
God notices every little thing...and he's already paying them back for their lies and betrayal. And I can go on with my life knowing that I am doing the right thing and will be rewarded for it in heaven.
Believe The Word!! I doubted but now see that it is entirely true!
It's selfish of me, but why does X get to be happy for doing us wrong. He doesn't deserve someone else when he's abandoned his wife and kids. It's so unfair, that I keep wondering what sins didn't I confess, or what/why is God punishing me so badly.
My stbx blew us off in July to be involved with another woman. They "met" over the internet and he had known her for only a short time when he decided it was time for him to move on to a relationship with her. (Our marriage had been pretty troubled, but was still salvagable in my mind.)
Well, they have broken up and she returned to her husband. He asked to come back last Friday, because he saw how much his gf's divorce affected her children negatively. So he wanted to come back "for the kids." Well, too bad.
So I believe we really don't know God's plan for us. i have met so many great friends through my church, and so have my kids. I feel as though we belong there, even if I am not the ultr-religious type.
I guess it makes it easier for me to believe that there IS a plan, and one day we will be rewarded. but as Martin Luther believed, we are allowed to enjoy life on earth.
All in good time! ~P
It is the hardest thing in the world! But I still feel the light is there. I cant explain what I feel or where it comes from, but its there - Its there for you too, Jodi, its there for all of us.
Its another mystery that good things seem to happen to bad people. But not too much of a mystery. An unprincipled person can take whatever path they choose - so they take the shortest, easiest path, which at first seems to lead to the things they want. It doesnt lead to true happiness. No selfish and thoughtless life is truly happy. I dont believe this is punishment per se, just the inevitable result of narcissism. In the end, all you truly have is whats in your heart - and if your heart is good, rewards will grow from that.
True happiness comes from knowing that there are many other paths open to us, the power of love is endless, the strength given to us is endless and will bring us out of even the hardest times. I hope you keep growing stronger. Youre on your way. :)
DaisyDay's comment hit it right on the nose. An undisciplined person takes the easiest path. Karma is a bitch and those who take the easy way will get it back someday tenfold!
Thanks everyone for being so great and supportive.