i been noticing that everybody who seems to be happy here are doing things for themselves. i haven't been doing this. i need to do to good things for me but its very hard to think what is good for me. i'm broke so it can't involve money. playing guitar works to a point. i start playing with emotion and i end up thinking of her. a walk is good gives me that one on one time with God but it really seems i been having way to much time with God since i dropped case. People keep asking why i did it or tell me i made a really bad choice so now the only one i talk to is her and that isn't right. shes just protecting herself. i can't wait to start work tommorrow. i think its whats been missing. being alone in my head is the came as being alone with a crazy person. i see why inmates in solitary confinement go insane. they are stuck in a place they can't get out of and they think of all the things they should of done differently. i'm being held prisoner by my own thoughts. someone unlock this cell i'm in plz.
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