Its been a minute since I have sent a post....I have had ups and downs. I have filed three different sets of divorce papers...not one has been signed. He just will not sign them. There is no future for us...he made sure of that by having two babies with another woman, who is our son's age( she just made 27 and he is 50). He just so happen to forget to let his first family know (me and our two kids). He has been having this relationship for about 4-5 years and we found out about it about a month ago....go figure. I have found out that he has moved this girl, her two kids, their two kids and about 4 of her sisters into his apartment ( one big happy family). My problem...I am hurt and cant seem to get over it... I hate him for what he has done and continue to hate him because this idiot thinks we all should be one happy family with this situation. He will not divorce me because I am a benefit to him...I cover this health insurance and life insurance benefits...I pay for them. So, this man tells me that he will not sign the papers until he gets his self together. I told him that I will not longer pay for his benefits, that his new partner can put him on her benefits...this punk tells me that I am acting crazy and it should be no problem for me to continue to pay for the benefits because I have been paying for them this long....Had I known that he was creating another family 5 years ago, I would have made sure he was off everything and worke on a divorce right then! All the benefits are thru my job, I have to show a final divorce paper to get him off...I WANT TO SCREAM!! I have wasted 19 years of my life on this man...to end up with nothing and he still reaps the rewards of being married to me....This situation has just taking over my life....I want my life backkkkk!!! I want to wake up and get to bed with good thoughts. Instead, my every waking moment seems to be about him and this situation. GOD, I FEEL LIKE A FISH OUT OF MY FISH BOWL AND I CAN'T GET BACK IN....I cry all during the day...I am so sad, people around me see it and don't want to be around me, I seem to talk about this mess all the time. How can I just let go??...I just wnat to feel good again.
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