I dont even know where to begin. God I just cant go on anymore. Hubby came home today. For the talk thing.... well it wasnt much talk. More arguing and crying than anything. He was suppose to spend the night here tonight, but that changed quickly. When he got here he told me he wasnt willing to try marriage counceling, or counceling for himself, but insited that I still go to my appointment. We talked, cried, fought some more then he decided he was going to call his mom's bf to come pick him up. While we were fighting, he decided he wanted to go wait outside. I followed him and told him exactly how I was feeling. I told him it was killing me he was walking out again, and told him the truth that I have been feeling suicidal for a week. He told me he didnt know what he wanted anymore....all that he knows that he wants to still be seperated. Im feeling totally lost, depressed, sad, angry. Another thing that totally ticked me off was that even while we were fighting, he had the nerve again to throw one of my OCD incidents from the past in my face, like he always does. I told him Im sick of him doing that. I told him every time we fight he does that. And he got mad and just said, well fine, you don't have to worry about me doing that again. WHATEVER. Sorry for rambling on, but Im just so frustrated.
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