I guess I am hoping for someone to help me with some advice in all this. I will try to make my story short so if you feel I am leaving something out please ask.

We had been married for 10.5 years and have 2 children together along with her son, my stepson. we relocated to Oregon at the end of 2004 from CA due to financial issued. I work and she was a stay at home Mom. We ran an online business on the side to supplement income which for years did really well but we had a rough year in '06 and the business was in debt about $10K.

We both really didnt like being in Oregon and decided to move back to CA, I got permission from work to relocate back and it was a done deal. We put the house on the market and her and the kids were to stay until the house sold. She then said we should get divorced to protect her and the kids from any financial implications from the business. After alot of arguing and begging I agreed since she said it was only a piece of paper and meant nothing to us but that it would save the family if I could not repay the debt. I moved in Oct 06 and the house sold in November but she didnt tell me. I found out and she said she was keeping it as a suprise until the money was paid. It was in her name. She then said she didnt want to move down cause the kids were in school etc and she didnt want to uproot them until the end of their year in June this year. Again - we spoke and spoke but she insisted and I said ok. It was really tough to live alone after so many years but I did it for the kids etc so that they were ok with school.

She then told me that before I moved back I needed to work on some things like losing weight and getting back into shape and not being so stressed out all the time over money. This was a surprise of sorts but I agreed to get some help with the stress etc. In January she said she was having mixed feelings about coming back to CA and it broke my heart completely, I was devastated! I felt sick to my stomach and cried for days. She said she needed some "space"!!! I didnt know what to do! I feel apart since this was the love of my life, the mother of my children, my best friend! I decided to go and visit some family overseas to get some support and try to get my head straight, 2 days before I left she said she wanted to come too - I was ecstatic! She joined me overseas a week later and we spent 3 wonderful weeks together, her, me and the kids.

when we returned she said she was really happy and that she wanted to move back with me ASAP. She found a house she liked and I got approved for it, 2 days later she said she didnt want to see me anymore and that it was over forever! I was shell shocked. I couldnt work, sleep, eat - nothing! I have never felt anything like it in my life. I completely broke down. A few weeks later she said she was seeing someone else and she was in love. About a month later they bought a house together and moved in this past week-end. I am a complete mess and trying to move on but can't. Everytime I talk to her I just cry. I only call to speak to the kids but she insists on talking to me and telling me how happy she is etc. She says we should stay friends and I can still tell her anything. I went back overseas cause I could not cope at all and just returned 2 weeks ago, I was there for almost 2 months. I asked to come up and see the kids but she said I am unstable and she thinks I will hurt them or worse!!! I have NEVER hurt my kids and never would! I begged and pleaded to see them and she finally agreed yesterday. Its a 12 hour drive but I am going next week.

She calls me today just to chat! She says I should come and see their new house! She said her and the kids have never been happier! I am speechless. I dont even know how to respond to this. She has no idea what I am going through and just says - "you will find someone and be happy soon, dont worry!"

I told her I cannot talk to her like this all the time and pretend like everything is ok, it hurts me deeply to hear her voice. I dont understand why she is so oblivious to all of this? She doesnt seem to be upset or sad about any of it. We had this whole life together and it just gone. She has all the furniture, the kids, everything I ever worked for. I dont really care about the stuff but holy crap, how can she not see how awful this is?

I just found out that even although we were married until Nov 14th, she filed her taxes seperately and claimed all the kids as her dependants!!! I owe the IRS something like $15K now!!! I dont even have a job! She did our taxes as per usual and I never gave it a second thought since I was under the impression it was only a "pice of paper" which meant nothing. She never even worked or earned a cent yet she claimed herself as head of household with 3 dependants and herself.

Anyway, I dont know what to do anymore and I cannot understand how she can be so casual about all of this and just wants to chat to me on the phone and tell me how her day is going etc.