Look, I don't want to... I still cling to the hope that me and my wife will reconcile like it is the very thread that holds me above an endless chasm. I will sit and wait, in misery, I will try everything and fail, I will get kicked in the face, have my guts stomped on, have my very heart ripped from my chest and burned, all in the name of the hope that it can be like it was. In my mind, I can rationalize that this is the right course, that it is only a matter of time. I can take the simplest civil phrases like 'Hope you are doing well' and extrapolate that into some pained and tortured reciprocation of the love that consumes me and refuses to release me. And I know now, after 118 days, that I never will abandon that hope.
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