I've found myself being a little bitter today. I dont trust men...it's strange how quickly it happened. I went from being a trusting person to now I really don't trust ANYONE. Will I ever trust again? How am I to work on my marriage (if we try) or move on if I can't trust anyone. It's really not limited to just men. I don't trust anyone including my family. They say one thing and now I'm expecting the opposite to happen. Will the anger and bitterness subside? How long will I feel this way? I'm having the typical good days and not so good days. I haven't had a bad day since like Monday, but I don't know. I still find myself wanting to dress up for my husband, waiting on him to come...almost as if none of this had happened. I have fleeting thoughts and feelings like I did when we first started dating. I know he doesn't feel the same, but these feelings are so confusing.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...