Everyone sees what they choose to see.

There's no way to know what's really going on with them. There really isn't.

Maybe things are great. Maybe they aren't.

But in the end, what difference does it make for -you- and your healing?

FIxating on what's going on over there is taking away energy you could be using to move on, to be with your kids, to make your life and theirs the best you possibly can.

You don't need to be giving someone like that power over you. There are much more contructive ways of using that energy than wasting it on someone who's just going to abuse it.

With you. We are also seeking such answers or, in the absence of answers, how to cope, how to re-focus, how to grow strong again.
You are not alone.

Breath, and repeat to yourself.....Karma....Karma...

Sometimes it's hard to tell if the pain is coming from your heart or your ego.

Regardless of the source though, it's never easy to swallow. Hang in there...

verbra, you do not know what goes on in their life! Please remember this! They could be putting up a great front. Did you ever pretend everything was peaches and cream while you were with him in public when deep inside you knew that everything was not as it should be?
Rest assured sweety, that he will do the same thing to her, that he has done to you! Like I said in an earlier post... pity her, she does not know what she has really gotten herself into!
My youngest son asked me not too long ago, why I don't hate his father's current "lady", cause she hates me.. I told him, that "I" really know his father... I do not bad mouth him to his son, however, my true feelings are I pity her, cause when the "new" wears off, she is in for the pain of her life! (physical and emotional)!

It is very hard, but I agree with ABorden. You need to put this energy into you and your family. I too feel the saddness and anger over his choices. His explaining to me how I don't know her and how she gives him things that I never did. It is painful and hard to wish them the best.

My stbx moved in with his gf. I pity her.
But only a little..
He'll do the same to her as he did to me.
I just hope that it doesn't take her as long to wise up as I did.

Either way, it's not my problem anymore.
Which was the point, really.

And...
You know why he's not going through the ups and downs?
because he's not dealing with it. He's got a shiny new relationship that he dove into.
He's drug all his old crap into it and that alone will taint it.
Be strong verbra.
You deserve to be happy and healthy. you have to mourn your loss in order to be truly ready to move on.
((HUGS))

Thanks to all of you, I am determined to not let this get the bes of me. DS family your the best!

My husband left his partner of 14 years and the mother of his daughter and moved into a flat just 2 weeks after he showed an interest in me. 14 years later he has left me. He didnt look back with her and he isnt with me...not even a goodbye. If he was capable of turning his back on his first partner after all those years together, then I shouldnt have been suprised he did it to me - clearly he is unable to really love...a relationship for him is about what he wants and needs at that particular time, but not real love.
I suspect yours will be the same. She will not have the happy life you think....but dont bother yourself with thoughts of her...think about yourself. I know it is easier said than done, I cant stop thinking about my husband, I still love him and I want him back. But I am trying to see that he is just the sort of man who cant give emotionally.

I like the question how can you want a man that will walk out. That's what I want to know, why would anyone want to be with a cheater?

It hurts.
We are all hurting for various reasons over the break up of our relationship.

We can go on forever asking why, and why me, how...
now is the time to focus on you, on your children, your future.

Leave her and her life alone, she is not worthy.

Time for you to live.