Unfortunately you can't hold on to them when they want to go. I'm sorry for your pain, we're here for you. It is so hard, so hard :( Look inside yourself and do what you can for you at this time. Be with family/friends who care.

Yes it's very very hard to give the person that you adore space because you feel you may lose them but just give it a try you might find out that you needed space also. GOOD LUCK!

Maybe she wants you to be on hold till she tests the waters.

Maybe you should move on. At this point its your choice. Dont let her take that from you too.

You know the saying if you love something let it go if they come back it was meant to be.
I know it is hard, but you need to give her the space she is requesting and in the mean time maybe you can learn something about yourself that you didn't know. Go out there and try new things that you always wanted to do but didn't for some reason or another.

I struggle with this also. It is really hard to let go of someone who has been in your life for such a long time.

Do not torture yourself, like you said alot easier said than done. But you must let go of her. It hurts, it's sucks,it's reality. How can you hold on to something that is not yours? We fall in love with the wrong people every day of our lives. This room is living proof of that. We all suffer like you do, we all feel the same pain as you. Weall must accept the reality of life is not fair. It is so hard to let go, ask anyone in here. It takes a very long time to do this. anjm... ther is no easy way, nor is ther any short cuts. Keep in touch with us all. You will find the support you seek in here.

Do not torture yourself, like you said alot easier said than done. But you must let go of her. It hurts, it's sucks,it's reality. How can you hold on to something that is not yours? We fall in love with the wrong people every day of our lives. This room is living proof of that. We all suffer like you do, we all feel the same pain as you. Weall must accept the reality of life is not fair. It is so hard to let go, ask anyone in here. It takes a very long time to do this. anjm... ther is no easy way, nor is ther any short cuts. Keep in touch with us all. You will find the support you seek in here.

sorry double clicked on that one

Hey anjm, I know your pain. I am a little further down your road, and I tell you it gets easier. You have to let go for you more than for her.
Just think what exactly do you get for keeping someone that dosen't want to be kept. Picture this life. ...
picture it some more, and notice her fake moods, at best or her resentfulness at worse. This is not what u want back you want the good times.
GOD! trust me I know!
But if you have any chance of that in reality and not just your heart, you must not make her feel caged in.

Okay now my question 2 months of plenty of space to the point of my calling her NEVER and she calling me when the kids need somethin or for arbitrary money. I sometimes feel she might think I've givin up. I fought like hell tooth and nail through all kind of attacks, and hurtful information about her BF. How do I know if now i'm loosing her because of my leaving her alone?

You are right, it is hard. Take things one day at a time, don't think about tomorrow. I agree with everyone here, you might find you needed the space too.

This is now happening to me. Needing space, I can understand her needing space. Physical space? Emotional space? Which then leads to what? I don't know. It has been a long time since experiencing different degrees of emotional hurting and pain. I know this will get better over time. But getting over it "is harder than it seems". It is tremendously hard. Well for me anyway. I know someday I'll have many happy moments again. But now it just hurts to the soul. I do have a few people that do care about me and I know that counts a lot. I don't see it yet but over time I pray things all happen for the right reason(s). At 47 years old, together for 27 of them. Ouch!!!

I'm very sorry about this.. I am truly sorry for this happening to you.

Now..onto 'Space'.. I for one is not a fan of 'Space'..
I think 'Space' is code word for
'I am having an affair'
'I met someone and I need to be with them'

Can someone please tell me what the freakin hell 'Space' is?.. besides the Great Unknown... out there.. like in Star Trek.

hey.. I like space.. I love my crowded space now that I am divorced.. as for You and Her.. I think some clarification about this 'Space' is needed.

I suggest you both head off to couple's counselling and let it all out and get some clarification about this 'Space' that she requires.

Other possible factors for 'Space':
Are you abusive to her?
Is she abusive to you?
Have you both grown apart?

Frankly, I think it is code for 'I don't want to be with you anymore... I found someone else'

sorry for my bluntness.. I find 'Space' to be so freakin 'Vague'..lol

oh oh oh oh.. one more thing.. as for ;

If you love something.. set it free.. let it fly out the window and avoid getting shot by a hunter, and if it is yours it will come back to you crap...

wow.. that was a mouthful.. well I don't buy into that sentiment either.

If you want it.. fight for it.. deny the 'Space' and do not let her go, until you both attend couples counselling.

Just a comment to Canadian Rose's inquiry to defining "Space". I think "I need space" is a newer version of "it's not you, it's me".

I agree with CanadianRose and Fayette as well. "Give me space" is a new code word for "take my crap".