Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
i hadnt talked to him in 5 days. i called. he didnt answer. i am sure he is sitting there laughing thinking "i win, i win. she called me". i feel so weak. all of you are right- everything you say. its true. he is missing out on me. i wish he missed out on me just a little bit. i want a safe place to lay my head. why, when he is the arse, do i care about how he is? why doesnt he care how i am? that i am hurting? i mean- honestly- we all see how weak he is by calling me names and being mean to me. how can he be this STRONG to not miss me? HOW? i am missable. how can he be so weak in all these other areas but be STRONG in not wanting me there? i am missable. i am. i am loveable and missable. my birthday is coming up. he took off 3 days of work last year and spent it with me. he made me an ice cream cake. what happened to that man? did i ruin him? am in that bad? clearly- he is not a bad man if he made me an ice cream cake. how can he be so strong to not miss me? he isnt going to call me on my birthday either is he? no. hes not.
you know what? this sucks. how can he have no support system, have no one to talk to, be completely isolated in that truck and be strong enough not to call me- and i have all the resources at my fingertips and i call him? what is that? am i insane? why am i thinking about the ice cream cake he made me? he is an ass. he has treated me like crap. but im concerned as to why this isnt hitting him harder. maybe im the weak one and he is the strong one. im getting a headache. this sucks.
you know what? this sucks. how can he have no support system, have no one to talk to, be completely isolated in that truck and be strong enough not to call me- and i have all the resources at my fingertips and i call him? what is that? am i insane? why am i thinking about the ice cream cake he made me? he is an ass. he has treated me like crap. but im concerned as to why this isnt hitting him harder. maybe im the weak one and he is the strong one. im getting a headache. this sucks.
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
pray and read "Tough Love" by Dr Dobson
take care and have a good day
Yes, you are. You know that at the surface, but maybe not at the core. I know that feeling, too. A counselor is a BIG help. Writing letters of love and encouragement to yourself is great, too (especially when you go back and look at them later, both when you're up AND when you're down...you get to see your own progress!) I have also found that there is a part of me that actually hooks into the anger/pain of the "Why isn't he....?" mode that serves an unhealthy willingness within me to stay connected to him in any way possible...even if it's to "give" him my time via thoughts and emotions, rather than give that time to myself and my own development. I think this (for ME) in part has been due to fear and (ouch!) some laziness: now that I have time to think about what I'd like to do with my own life, I feel like I don't know WHAT I want to do....I have to rediscover my interests and in some cases, maybe even just discover them. I have allowed myself to be a child in many ways with my SOs, so that when they left I felt like I would die, even though I'm an adult. I resist the personal responsibilities of being an adult, ie, handling my feelings in a way that isn't destructive to myself but is still human enough to allow me to feel...but then I feel this resentment at not feeling like I deserve adult privileges or respect. It's a wheel that I turn myself inside out on! I know it feels monumental in nature, but try, just for a few minutes each hour, to turn your focus inwards towards your own goodness and growth; be honest with yourself (no one else is listening except God and his strength is that he loves you as you are, no matter what!) and get that stuff OUT!!! Nothing new can come into your life if you're stuffed full of self-hatred and hopelessness, so get those processed as often as you can and then grab the goodness that you KNOW is in you (those "missable" parts!) and love them, celebrate them, invite them back into YOUR life! You may find yourself smiling and even laughing at your own good company as time goes on. Once you can do this, you'll realize that your ex's life/reality is his to deal with and yours is NOT dependent upon his. If you can, read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". We can, as human beings, survive and thrive in horrific circumstances and the loss of (someone we) love is certainly one of those horror stories. But there can be a choice in it, too. I hope you'll choose, more and more, to be there for YOU, trying2staystrong, and that one day you'll discover that your struggle to be strong is less and the strength that you have is...more and more. Have a good day today, and do some writing if you can!!!!!!!!