I have to finally admit to myself that I am the one that blew it. I screwed it all up and there is no repairing it, I did this to myself, why I dont know I am just one screwed up individual. I hate myself for this. I pushed out the best person I had ever met. I know she hates me and I guess I cant blame her. I just wish I could make ammends, but I cant. She is gone forever and all I can do is kick myself for all I did wrong. I really miss her, she was my best friend, why did I push my best friend away. I SUCK
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