Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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I am such a f-ing idiot!!!! How can I be so stupid

deleted_user
deleted_user
As many times I've been through this I never learn! Once again I have fallen too soon for a man and he does not care for me as much as I care for him. I am such a fool!!!! It's bad enough to be going through a divorce but I keep reading men wrong. I think they're into me but they really aren't, I'm just a great stop along the way before they meet Mrs. Right. I let my heart out again too soon and I got hurt, he doesn't know that I know and will probably still try to pacify me. I made arrangements to meet him for a getaway where I know we probably would have ended up having a sexual relationship. I was so drawn to him, the chemistry was incredible and I never felt that way before. He was everything I was looking for and I was willing to wait for it. He was honest with me too but I kept falling anyway. I have only myself to blame. I'm not what he really wants, I'm what he wants right now so he doesn't have to be lonely. I know I have to cancel my trip but I am so sad right now and can't deal with it. He is out of town and I know he will be trying to find a way to let me down easy. I am so stupid, why do I do this to myself? My heart is breaking while writing this, what do I do? I can't see my counselor for another 10 days and he will be back before then. What we had going was really exciting and awesome but I'm going to have to do something or just withdraw. Help me soon. I am soooooo sad.
FrmDeb2U
FrmDeb2U
How do you know what you're saying is true?
Thriver
Thriver
I don't know all the details, but I can tell just from your post that it is way too soon for you to be out there dating.
You are too sensitive, have little confidence in yourself and your perceptions, how you read others, you are still hurting from previous relationships, and are relying too much on the acceptance of others to feel worthy and not on your own knowledge of your own strong points. You are a walking heartbreak ready to happen!
You don't deserve this and it does not serve you well. Any healthy man, even if he is very attracted to you, would step back seeing what state you are in. It would be like taking advantage and he could not tell if you really liked him, or just needed somebody.
I'm being very frank here. I don't mean to offend but I guess I see the me of the past in you and want to warn you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
The temptation to rebound is normal, we want to be loved. but love is not that easy to come by. Pain expands our souls and enlarges your hearts. I do not understand the ins and outs of this process, but I believe that good people are good people and in the end we will be happy.
FrmDeb2U
FrmDeb2U
I agree with Thriver. I know all you want right now is for someone to love you. But first you have to calm down and love yourself. Please know that you deserve love and it may take some time to recover from your pain. Just know that when you are ready.... you will know it and then will be the time to move on and look for your Prince Charming.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I never expected to find him so soon, I've been very discriminating with whom I choose to go out with. It was that damn chemistry that gets me in trouble everytime! We share so much in common, our passions are the same, we click! That doesn't happen for me very often - this sucks in so many ways!
deleted_user
deleted_user
one other thing. You should wait until your fully divorced before geting involved with another person. it'll cause moer problems than its worth
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hope that you will read and reread Thriver's advice, until it sinks all the way in.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You said "What we had going was really exciting" But in reality what YOU had going was realy exciting. Your not stupid. Maybe just lonely.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I met someone, went on a few dates, but was so unsure of what I was doing. I asked a female friend who has divorced, told her about my gf. Her comment was- if you two are having fun it's all good. We may not last,but it's been a month and so far so good.
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