feeling like a complete fool. Instead of getting easier I feel like each day gets harder. There are times when I think I can file for divorce and move on but then something he says or something I come across that brings back a memory just makes me break down and cry. It's been almost 3 months now since he left and we are still no closer to deciding what each of us wants. I thought I was getting stronger and leaning more towards divorce but obviously I can't let go of the hope. His mind is so fogged up with alcohol and having fun that he can't make a decision either. What the hell are 2 people supposed to do when they are stuck in limbo like this? What makes things worse is all of my good friends (male and female) are all happily married. I love them all and they want me to do things with them but it is so hard constantly feeling like the 3rd wheel and being the only one alone. It makes me jealous that I don't have that happiness anymore and that I don't have someone to hold me and love me everyday. If this was God's plan for me than why can't he give me a sign that there is someone better out there for me? and where the heck do I find him?
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