I have never felt so lonely as I do now. I miss companionship, love, affection, I love you's, and the knowing that I belong to someone. I think about growing old by myself. I don't want to be in a empty house growing old. If life was meant to be lived alone than there would be one gender. We wouldn't exp. the love that we do. Why is it some can find love and keep it forever? Others have to be hurt and heart broken first, then maybe they might find that love. I don't know how to handle this. Yes I could get some friends and hamg out but, it's not the same. I miss that person saying good night and good morning. How was your day? I miss that last call of the night. I miss that kiss and hug from that special someone. I feel so rejected by love and the lonliness is killing me. I just feel like dying some days. I ask when will it be over. I am not a needy person but, I do want that affection and knowing that I am cared about truely. Do we have to sell our souls to the devil? I also miss that warm body next to me when I sleep. I took my current job bc I knew I was going to be alone for a long time. I might as well be working and alone at the same time. I thought I could deal with it but, I can't. It's unbearable at times. Yes, I will become happy in due time but, the loneliness will always remain.
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