I don't even know where to start. After being divorced for over a decade, and not dating anyone in over 10 yrs, a year ago I met this wonderful man. We met after 2 weeks of chatting on line and the physical attraction and chemistry was instant and very strong. At first I didn't want to think about getting involved with him because he had 2 conditions I was very familiar with because of my ex-husband. He is ADD and has mild Autism. I had already been down that road and didn't know if I wanted to deal with it again. And he too was ademant that he was looking for a friend and did not want to get into a relationship because he had been recently divorced. Well, we started going out and things progressed to a physical level very quickly. But let me explain. I told him I have genital Herpes and he told me that he didn't think he could handle that because he would obsess over it because there isn't a 100% safe method of sex. Yet we were able to do everything else except intercourse. And as the months went by, our emotional bond became stronger and stronger, to the point of missing each other and professing our love for each other on a daily basis. Because we lived about an hr away from each other I would spend the weekends with him and ocassionally in the middle of the week. Neither of us were heavy drinkers but we liked to go out and have a few and always had a great time. He would take care of me and I help him in every way I could. Many times we talked about our feelings and as time went by he was very open about his towards me. He told me that he never thought that he would grow to love me as much as he did. He said that he questioned himself often about whether he was "in love" with me or not. Now let me explain, that people with his conditions have a hard time deciphering their emotions, so his statements didn't surprise me. I just knew from his actions that he loved me very much and had no doubt he was in love with me. I was just waiting for him to come to that realization. 4 months ago we both had to move out of state to 2 different states for work purposes within a month of each other. The man was unconsolable the day I left. Many times during this year, he has been extremely emotional about the thought of losing me. He told me I was the best friend he ever had and he couldn't see himself without me in his life. We promised to visit each other often. We would talk on the phone every day the way we did before and I knew he was getting very lonely and bored. He did not like the place he was at and his job was a lot more frustrating than he expected. He had no friends and was having dificulty adapting to his new environment. Financial reasons did not allow neither one to visit the other yet. 2 months ago, he told me he had a personal ad that he was using to meet women to talk to. Except that the ad was very misleading in the sense that it made it seem like he was looking for a long term relationship. Well all of the sudden the daily phone calls became every 2-3 days. He finally admitted to me that he had met someone who had peaked his interest. He then proceeded to remind me that all he wanted from us was a very close friendship and that we had agreed to be open to either one of us moving on at any point. Yes, I had agreed to that but after a year together and all that we had achieved I thought we were way passed that point. 2 weeks ago, he texted me mistakenly saying that he was having a hard time finding a plane ticket for the state this woman lived in. Right after the text, came his phone call. He knew I would be livid. I told him at that time that I wanted to cut all ties with him and a day later he called me at 1 am, crying almost hysterically because he didn't want to lose me. At that time I told him we would work things out. For the last 2 weeks things seem to start going back to normal between us until Friday. He sent me a text at 6 am (which he never does) telling me that he missed me. My gut instict kicked in and I just knew he was going to see her that weekend. After texting him several times between Fri and Sat and not getting any response back I just knew so I text him for the last time and told him I never wanted to hear him tell me he loved me or miss me ever again. Well, I finally got a text back at 5:30 that afternoon telling me that yes, he went out of town like he "had told me he would a few weeks back" (which was not true) and that he would contact me when he got back Sunday. I told him not to bother. He text me back that I was supposed to be his friend and he would call me the next day and I told him "I quit". I then proceeded to change my phone number and take him off all ways of him tracking me (messengers, facebook, etc). Sunday I sent him a 3 page letter outlining everything we had together and basically telling him what he did wrong and that I hoped she had been worth it. I have not heard from him at all (even thought he could still email me or call me at work). A part of me tell me that I did the right thing, but my heart is bleeding so much I don't know how to stop it. Did I over react? Was I too quick to cut him off? I felt that we had the kind of relationship and love that most people search and never find. I am so depressed and numb I don't know what to do. I am sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent. Thank you
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