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I am so fed up

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband picked up the kids last night and was suppose to bring them back a few hours later. He has my oldest son call me 30 minutes before he is suppose to bring them back and tell me that he wants to spend the night. I said that was ok but I asked him if "the OW" was there and he told me no. My husband finally dropped the kids off this morning after the bus already came and the first thing my daughter said to me was that "the OW" was there. I asked my oldest son if he lied to me and he said yes daddy told me too. I told him that we don't lie. I told him to never lie to mommy or daddy. I also said that I would never have you lie to your daddy because it is not right. I found out "the OW" spent the night in my husbands bed with my kids there. I figured she was living there but everytime I asked my husband he would say no. Well I am so fed up with his lies. He doesn't even realize the message he is sending to our kids about marriage. How do I make sure the kids understand what marriage is all about and thats its not what their daddy is doing without making their daddy look bad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh wow! I am dealing w/ exactly the same issues! We separated after 13 years together in March. At first it was amicable, but then in August he met someone. She's 21 w/ 2 kids. He introduced my kids and has her spend the night on their one night per week visit w/ him. I tried reasoning w/ him that this was too soon for the kids and he shouldn't force them to share their time w/ him. He says he's moving in w/ GF and that the GF will help him care for our kids! GF has 2 kids that she started having at 15. I don't have a lot of faith in his judgement. He's 40 and her teacher. I have begun thinking that he's coaching my kids to lie to me. I'll be watching this post to see what kind of advice you get.
deleted_user
deleted_user
call your attorney. in any state, that's really called child neglect, well is in my state. the father neglected his children's needs by putting his OWN emotional needs and/or sexual needs above his childrens. What if one of your children wanted to sleep with daddy? doubt that could have happened. this is absurd.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I asked my husband why in the world he can't spend time with his kids alone. I told him that they deserve his undivided attention. I don't get him right now or anything he is doing. she also has two kids and 1 is in the same grade as 1 of my sons. That really sucks.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so glad you stressed the lying aspect to your kids...
There is no room for lying, it is inexcusable, and for his Dad to ask him to lie for him... what an *ss...

Sounds like they have a great Mom who is trying to instill good values in them. Keep up the good work, they will remember it when they are older.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I did call my attorney to ask and she suggested that I take the kids to a child psycologist to have them evaluated. The point being, that they'd write something up so that when we go to divorce, I have additional documentation supporting my full custody. My attorney also advised me that even though I have full custody, and even though in this state it's technically illegal to cohabitate until divorce, that it's still not cut and dry. If I push it with him,we'd probably have to go to the county mediator.
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