I was doing really good for a few days now.. and i went and did it to myself again.. I called him just because I wanted to have a normal conversation with him, because I do miss him. And it was nice. But now I feel like kicking myself in the ass for doing it.. One step forward and 3 steps back. I really think that I am nuts.. He is so dead set on making this happen. And I still dont really know why... I mean if i know its over, he should too.. I just want to know the real reason he left me.. I just need to know the truth.. I dont love you anymore dont work.. I need to know the why...I want him to tick off the reasons.. Because I dont have a clue.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...