I know it's not easy, but I would try to not talk to him. The way he acts will be seen by his daughter and she can make up her own opinion about her father. I don't think talking to him will do any good, it will just increase your blood pressure. Take a deep breath and be there for your daughter.

I think I would have ignored the x request and taken my daughter (it was her grandfather right?) I would ignore him and the OW for my daughter's sake. I know it is not easy to do but any of this is not easy.

Sounds very emotional. I know it would be hard, nearly impossible, but try to take a deep breath, count to 10, whatever and express to him how you feel about the situation concerning your daughter.

I can only imagine how difficult this must be and I would never downplay that. You have every right to be furious, but it is probably not helping much with him.

I am so sorry you have to put up with this situation. It stinks!

Kelly - It sounds so familiar. How can people be so cruel? My wife, the bitch from hell, planned and ruined my life and devasted my daughter's. It seems so hard to get up in the morning; trying to keep it out of my mind. Sleep is almost impossible.

So you called him some names. Told him his priorities are screwed up. What judge is going to condem you for that? Most of the time they are only interested in spitting the assets and taking care of the kids. You were defending your daughter. Don't worry about the Judge.

Do protect yourself from frustration. You don't need that. NO more contact like that--text or email. That you can take to court! It won't be here say. It will be civil because it's being recorded. Smart move. Doing this myself and feeling more sane.

i know it is very hard not to call him and chew him out. he is only doing this to try to make your time with your daughter misserable. you have to document everything. everytime he calls. dont answer and record the message on a tape. everytime he texts, copy it on you computer. everytime your daughter tells you something write it down with date and time.

i know it is very hard, but he is only doing this to try to get you upset and do something you normally wouldnt do.

be strong, and dont let him see you hurt. that will bug him more than the chew out.

I have been where you are the anger stage is so hard. I know with me that was the hardest stage. I would be fine one minute and the next be ready to bite his head off. He tried to play the voicemail game with me to. But just remember he is the one with a whore not you. Any normal judge is going to see the whole picture. Next time you feel like yelling at him, write your feelings down, yell into a pillow, do anything you can not to let him see you.

I went thru it with my childrens father. He went so far as to stand his 9 yr old up on his birthday so he could go to his girlfriends. It ate at me and tormented me for months. Like you, I'd call and give him every bit of the mind I had left. One day it came to me, I had to starting today, NOT EXPECT ANYTHING from him. Then I was never disappointed. I could also be there for my children when they were hurting and disappointed. Cause before I was so upset with him, I needed someone to comfort me, so I wasn't doing a great job comforting them. IT WORKS!! I never expected another thing of him. If he called or visted or spent any time with them, fine. If he didn't, fine. And I was so much more able to give my children the love, support and understanding they needed at those disappointing times. Now, more than 5 yrs later, they rarely see him and never go and spend the night. He wonders why. Anyway, stop expecting anything and avoid your disappointment and you'll find you can help your child more with hers. I never have and never will say anything negative about the Dad to my children. That hurts the child the most. The dads could care less what you think. Children need to know they have parents that love them and they find out the rest for themself. Good luck!

regardless of your voice mails to him, he put his needs before his daughters. dont' worry about them being used in court. realize you don't need to leave them anymore. start to cuss him out in your head or to a friend, prior to calling. that way, you've vented and then can leave an objective message if need be. better yet, don't leave him any message. your daughter got jaded and your upset about it, i understand. just be there for her to console her during this trying time for her.

I too have cussed out my stbx on the phone many times in rage. It just happens sometimes when thier actions are just too much.
But, it dose not do any good...at least for me it has not. I just get high blood presure and feel crazy at the end. I have been really trying to stop those type of conversaions, slowly but slowly. It's hard.
Just hang up if you feel yourself start to want to scream at him.

The hardest thing to do is to realize that you have absolutely no control over what kind of father he will be. My therapist said to me that I need to let go of trying to "help" him be a better father. He is going to do whatever he wants to anyways. He and your daughter will have a relationship no matter what. What kind of relationship it is, depends on his behavior towards her. All you can do is support your daughter, comfort her if she is disappointed or angry, and encourage her to build a relationship with her dad - no matter how much you hate him. Don't say negative things about him to your daughter. She may be angry with him now, but she does love him and it does hurt HER when you badmouth her dad to her. I know firsthand how hard this is, but you must remember, your relationship with him is completely and totally separate from your daughters relationship with him. My advice to you is to keep all dealings with him on a business and logistics level only. I only communicate with my ex via email, it makes things easier all around and if I am angry, I don't hit the send key until I have cooled down and talked things over with a friend or one of my sisters. That way I have no regrets. Good luck.