Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So everyone pretty much nows my situation. If you don't please look at my journals. Well yesterday I made the decision to take off my wedding rings. My husband took his off about 3 weeks ago. My reasoning behind it were simple.
1. It was painful to see them on my hand as a constant reminder of the trauma in my life.
2. It is not a marriage right now so why kid myself.
Well my husband went to the bar last night for his birthday and I stayed up waiting for him because I get concerned with the drinking and driving. When I heard his key turn in the door I pretended I was asleep. Well he came and got into my bed, yes he still is sleeping in there. I rolled over towards me and started rubbing my back. Then he went to hold my hand and realized my rings weren't there. He didn't say anything, but he wrapped himself around me tighter. That is where it gets confusing. I called him yesterday and told him how painful it is that it is his b-day and our 13 years together this coming monday. HIs response was a hateful SO. I asked him how he can hate ne so much and he said he doesn't hate me. Then I said how can you be with someone for 13 years and have so little love in your heart. He hung up on me. Then he comes home from the bar and those were his actions. He didn't wake me up for sex and he wasn't wasted either. So why the jeckel and Hyde act? Also I want to put my rings back on. I feel naked without them. I am not sure if it is more painful with them on or off, but I in the same instance don't want my husband to think I am there on a fishing line and he can pull me in whenever he wants. That is how it feels. HELP!
1. It was painful to see them on my hand as a constant reminder of the trauma in my life.
2. It is not a marriage right now so why kid myself.
Well my husband went to the bar last night for his birthday and I stayed up waiting for him because I get concerned with the drinking and driving. When I heard his key turn in the door I pretended I was asleep. Well he came and got into my bed, yes he still is sleeping in there. I rolled over towards me and started rubbing my back. Then he went to hold my hand and realized my rings weren't there. He didn't say anything, but he wrapped himself around me tighter. That is where it gets confusing. I called him yesterday and told him how painful it is that it is his b-day and our 13 years together this coming monday. HIs response was a hateful SO. I asked him how he can hate ne so much and he said he doesn't hate me. Then I said how can you be with someone for 13 years and have so little love in your heart. He hung up on me. Then he comes home from the bar and those were his actions. He didn't wake me up for sex and he wasn't wasted either. So why the jeckel and Hyde act? Also I want to put my rings back on. I feel naked without them. I am not sure if it is more painful with them on or off, but I in the same instance don't want my husband to think I am there on a fishing line and he can pull me in whenever he wants. That is how it feels. HELP!
deleted_user
If you put them on, you are still on a string. Perhaps he went to the bar and was disallusioned by what he encountered. Then he came home to you (and you were pretending to be asleep). Could be pride. Maybe he doesn't want to admit that he's not quite sure about his decision!
deleted_user
That is the thing I think he is so wishy washy with his decision. It saddens me that he is moving out and there has been so much damage that he has created that it will be to late for him. On the other hand I am looking forward to him moving out so I can feel free like a bird. Not the constant stress and in my face heartache!
deleted_user
Maybe you would consider checking out some Al-Anon meetings. They could help you deal with the alcoholic mind and the feelings you are having. Of course, stay here too. I know about the naked feeling. Yet it does not feel right to wear my ring either. Naked and uncomfortable just about says it, doesn't it?
deleted_user
Tammi When my husband took off his rings and I found out it was one of those blows that you feel in the core of your heart. I couldn't believe it, but then one day I thought why am I honoring a marriage with this ring that he obviously doesn't care about. I ripped them off, literally. I cried for so long after that, but I had to do it. Yes I felt naked but I also felt like I was moving forward a little bit. Every decision has been hard, don't put them back on, not now. From reading my journals anyone can see that my husband clearly is jekyl and hyde. He tells me one thing and does another, loves me then doesn't speak to me, hangs up on me and then calls me like it is nothing. A friend told me that he doesn't want to let go of the security, but doesn't want to be with me either. She told me to let go, to show him that he can't come back in my life and do what he pleases. Easier said then done and I am still falling into that old way of thinking that if I do everything right he is going to come back. We need to try to move forward and show them that we can be strong, even if we are dying inside. The more he knows that you are not going to sit back and take everything he dishes out, the more he is going to take advantage. Be cordial to him, but be strong. Sometimes I am and sometimes I am not, but the times that I am I feel like a million dollars. The ring symbolizes a marriage and right now neither one of us has that.
deleted_user
I meant to say the more that you sit back and let him do things to hurt you, the more he is going to take advantage.
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