I have been married for 18 years and have 2 boys (14 & 17). My husband is an alcoholic who has mentally abused me for years. My husband left us on Thanksgiving because he got caught having another woman's phone # in his cell with my sons name as whose it was. (and I am sure having an affair...he was calling her 4 & 5 times a day for 8 months, duhhhh I am not stupid) I have a question for all of you. I recently had found out that my husband had sort of a verbal agreement with his father (who he was living with after he left my children and I). He told (or promised, I don't know which) that he would never go back to his family. His Dad also did the same thing to his wife as my husband did to me. His Dad never liked that he married me (because he lost his drinking partner back then). I think that there were verbal agreements if he didn't come back to his family that his Dad promised him some things I think. My husbands father recently died and he is abiding by his dad's wishes instead of his childrens wishes which is to come home to us. I don't really feel like it is fair and his family is saying that his Dad would roll over in his grave if he went back to his kids. This makes no sense to me. I would NEVER tell any of my children not to go back to their spouses especially when the children are shutting down because they feel abandoned by their father. I think that it's a very selfish thing to expect out of your kids when expecting them to stay with you instead of trying to work it out with their spouses. Is there anyone who has been through this? It is really making us feel worthless. Thank you in advance. I am very scared and sad. When you have been with someone a total of 23 years you only know how to live with them and their life style. ~ Carol
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