Was already struggling when I had my big healthy denial goin that told me while everything else sucked at the core me and him had something that would never die. Now hes done, never coming back, his ring lost somewhere in his parents garden, and Im discovering our account is overdrawn and we are two months behind on everything and all i have is a disability check and a big gaping whole where he used to be. I don't know what the hell Im doing and most of the hours between then and now Ive been strong and rational and surviving, I wake up early and crazy, like I am now and feel like I am not going to make it. I am writing this to keep from calling him and begging.
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