Well I am back on a regular basis again. My final divorce hearing was in June and still waiting for the judge to make the call. How I tend to mess up my life is beyond me. I did it again. I met the most wonderful women in the whole world on DS. We started out friends and then moved on in a few months and I saw the signs that scared me, but paid no attention to them. She said she was going to divorce her husband that cheated and beat on her. She said I was the most loving, caring man she had ever known and she could not wait to start a new life with me. I thought I would finally be happy as I believed and still do with all my heart that she was the one for me. After making an 8 hour drive to see her and spent parts of the weekend with her I thought maybe things would work out. I get a text 2 days later saying its over and we have to go our separate ways. I wish her well and I know the only reason she went back to him is out of fear. I know I cant do anything about that and it is killing me. I dont know if I will ever love again and this last 2 weeks my friends have had me under a suicide watch and are always with me or checking up on me when I am not at work. I have become so disgusted with life and always loosing that there is almost nothing left for me to be here for. I hold on to my kids as the only thing left. I need advice please I hate this pain. I am in therapy once a week and my Dr. increased my meds, but it really isnt helping this time.
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