Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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deleted_user 10/15/2007

I have been with my husband for 12 years and have 2 children with him. He has been VERY distant for the past month and has completly shut me out. I did my research because he has cheated on me 4 times that I KNOW of. I found that he has been texting with some 20 something old girl. He said she is just a cool chick, but then why be secret. I find out from his BF that she said that she won't be with him if he is still with his wife. Well on Saturady he told me he wants to split and I am supposed to tell him how much $ I want for child support. I asked him if this was a seperation or a trial sepreration. He said he is not sure. So here I am holdiong on again, but in my heart it is almost like he is saying that to me in case it does not work out with the newer model! Now he hasn't left yet and he climbs into my bed everynight. I am just waiting for him to tell me he is so wrong and let's work it out. I quess that is where the mental and emotional abuse for years comes in. I am still holding out for hope. I want to be ticked off and angry, but can't find it in my heart to be. HELP ME figure out how to get angry!!!!!

deleted_user 10/15/2007

Why do you feel like you need to be angry?

deleted_user 10/15/2007

Ok I would like to tell you that it will work out and things will be great again. I am sorry I can't do that because you said he has already Cheated on you 4 times. Again I am sorry but where is your self respect how can you be with some on you completely can't trust. If he can't keep his pants on your marriage is never going to work and you have to move on.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

It might just be too early for you to be angry. You have to be sad first. Feel the loss. You have plenty of time later to be angry. I am sorry you are in your position. It's so very hard to love someone that doesn't love you back the same way. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

Being angry is better than being in shocked or in denial state. I for one will like to get into the angry state.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

You're not going to get angry until you stand up for yourself.
I'm a fellow "Been cheated on 4 times".
You haven't left him, which tells him that he can pretty much do anything and you won't leave. You've already set a very dangerous precident for yourself.

He's not going to change.

And this separation BS? Don't fall for it.

Call his bluff, tell him to make it a full-out divorce.

He does not respect you, as a human being, as a wife, as a spouse.

If he did, he never would have done this to you.

First time he cheated was one time too many...

deleted_user 10/15/2007

I feel like if I get angry, then he cant hurt me anymore. I assume it is all the mental abuse. He will say nasty things to me and as soon as I get strong and believe I can do it on my own, he reals nme back in. I know it is unhealthy for me to go through this and I don't want my daughters to think it is OK to have this done to you, but I can't help it.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

being angry does help, at least for me it did. But it took a while to get to that stage.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

(((Hugs))) Not sure that you Need to get angry just yet, or you Would be there. There has to be a reason that our emotions put us where they do.

For Now, tell him to get his Butt out to the Couch. If he wants OUT-START with Getting OUT of Your Bed.

Welcome.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

So what do I tell my 13 and 10 year old daughters. I don't want them to see me as a failure or a quiter. I am really confused.

deleted_user 10/15/2007

de ja vu!! I know what you are feeling. I am finding it a little easier each day to be a little bit more mad. You have to think of what he has done to you! You are important and you don't need to take that cr@p from anyone. While he was out having fun you were getting hurt, does he care? I don't think so! Tell him to deciede what to do or you will! You don't need the abuse! I have been married for 14 years and my H did the same thing, shutting you out won't help it just hurts even more. You need to think about you! What do you need to feel more confident about you! Kick him out and tell him to Piss or get off of the Pot!! Excuse my french!I makes me mad to think they can just get away with that and we let them use us for a rug to wipe their feet on. I am not a rug! WOW I am getting that mad thing right down now! LOL!

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