So after all hell broke loose with the police and everything on Thursday I have made it clear to my stbx that it's over. He's now saying things like he just doesn't understand why I'm doing this to him...all he ever did was love me...how could I hurt him like this? He's still acting like this is all me and it's an easy choice for me. Well, I don't even have a job...I don't have any friends (other than the one he tried to kill), my whole life has fallen apart since I married him yet all he can see is what's happening to him. Oh yeah, he's back here because my brother brought him back here Friday and dropped him off. He was still drunk and just wanted to sleep "please" crap. He doesn't want to eat, he doesn't want to sleep. He will finally eat once I baby talk to him...it's really sick. He is still trying to kiss me. Last night after I fell asleep he was "feeling me up" I just pretended to be asleep because I didn't want to deal with it. It's so sad. I'm so sad in so many ways. I brought him here from the UK so now I feel responsible and I have to remind myself that he's old enough to be my dad...in fact he's older than my dad...and he needs to take care of himself and he needs to quit manipulating me. He has gotten me so isolated and insecure, I really don't think he understands that his little threats and games aren't going to work. It's over. My ring is off. He announced to everybody that his wife was a whore so at least I know what he thinks of me. He says it doesn't count because he was drunk but I'm a recovering alcoholic and I know that alcohol is all too often a truth serum. Besides, he'd said similar things before~just hadn't yelled it to a group of neighbors. Made me feel so dirty. So small. So angry. Be married to somebody like that? No. Not with everything I feel. He's attempted to destroy me, but according to him all he did was love me and try to help me. So painful.
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