Hello !! This is my first time posting. I have been married for 11 years. I have 2 children 5 & 9. My husband & I are in our 40s. The marriage has had it problems and I felt it was something I needed to live with and hoped for a long time that it would work out. My husband has anger issues and has done some unkind things through the years. Nothing physical. He is also very controlling. A little over a year ago I got to the point that I realized things werent going to change and I didnt want to stay in the marriage. I felt and feel like you get one shot at this life and we deserve to be happy. I started to go to therapy. I told my husband how I felt and he flipped out. Guilt is a sensitive thing to me and he uses it well. He kept saying I blindsided him with this. For years I would tell him things that were bothering me and he chose not to hear it. When I try to talk to him about it he carries on about how he cant live without me. He cries and throws up and does this in front of the kids. I dont want to be in this marriage anymore. I feel like that whole world gets divorced and I am stuck. I know I am hurting him, but staying I am unhappy. The therapist feels we should be apart at this point to each be able to sort through things. He will not leave. I offered him the house free and clear in 6 month to a year if he will just leave for now. Still wont go. My question or the advice I am looking for is how to handle knowing you are totally crushing someone? I will be fair with him on everything. I just want to be on my own. I feel he deserves someone who wants to be with him. Any input is very much appreciated.
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