My counselor said I still have a lot of anger/resentment as to who did what etc... I think I feel it because he has not owned much of fault in what went wrong but even when he does, he says he takes full responsibility for what he did but he wouldn't have if I hadn't done whatever I did. Anyhow, I'm so fed up but I am angry that I somehow accept the guilt of whatever he says to me. Deep down I know I'm not guilty but and although I allow him to make me feel guilty, I later resent it and get mad (mostly at myself I suppose). I hate this whole thing of figuring out how to change me so I don't let him manipulate me so much to get his way!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??