Ok here's the short version of the story. If you need more check my journal. Before I left my maybe stbx (we're still trying to work things out) I tried confiding in his best friend to see if there was something, someway I could get my stbx to listen to what I was trying to tell him before I had no choice but to leave. It was a desperate move on my part to try to salvage my marriage before I felt like there was nothing left to salvage. He said he didn't think so. He knows how pigheaded my stbx can be, and once he makes up his mind that's that. After that, I began to make plans to leave. Admittedly I did it behind my stbx's back. He had no idea that I was planning on leaving. Everytime we would fight one of us would threaten to leave. I finally did. But when his best friend betrayed my trust and went and told him everything, the shit hit the fan. 3 times now (in the past 2 weeks) he has thrown this in my face. He has since seen phone bills etc. from when I was planning my move. He has never fully trusted me, and he says this just proves his point and makes it worse. I didn't want to do this behind his back, but with his temper and knowing he would do anything to try to stop me, I didn't feel like I had a choice. It's become a major issue now in our efforts to reconcile, and I'm not sure he can ever trust me again.. I can't live in a relationship without trust. That's part of the reason I left to begin with. I don't know if he will ever be able to trust me now. Any advise?
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