I have been in a relationship for eight years. The first three were great and I still have very strong feelings for him. About four years ago I was accepted to a phenomenal school in Europe and he could not go there with me. The master's program was only for a year and he looked at my leaving like a a betrayal. While I was in London we tried to work through his issues. He was very insecure and we would talk at least a few times a day. He didn't trust anyone I was with and would get upset when he did not hear from me when I was out with friends. It became so bad that he threatened to kill himself and said he came close. We eventually got back together but it was never the same and I ended up being unfaithful. Again we tried to recover. When I moved back home it didn't feel right and eventually broke up with him and separated. It was very painful and went through a series of namecalling and arguments. We were separated for 7 months and got back together again. I recently went on a business trip and many of the same insecurities came up again. I know this is an unhealthy relationship and that he depends entirely too much on me for his happiness. My problem is how to not pick up the phone and call him. He has been one of my best friends for so long and we have some truly beautiful memories. How do I let go and move on?
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