I did stand up and scream & lay down and cry. I still do it almost everyday. It is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

I too screamed and cried alot. And come to think of it, I did both today. We are in our second month of a one year separation and things had been getting better between us recently. But last night we had a spat and quiet time has begun again. So I'm probably not the best to answer your question, except to say, if you feel like screaming SCREAM. If you feel like crying, CRY. Like Kelly, this is the hardest thing I've had to go through in my life.

we also had a spat last night, and it was not a good. He is out of town until tommorow I will have to go and pick him up from the airport. So not looking foward to it with him still mad

Well Im the one who left. I still love him very much but he wont change. He refuses to be a father and put the kids first let alone me. I say this over and over he doesnt listen. Im stubborn and lonely and wont go back. We've tried so many times. Like how we went to the store together, him, me and our two kids. Their birthdays were 2 weeks ago and he got them nothing..said he was broke. Not even a phone call to say happy birthday, no nothing. So in the store my daughter(11)asks..Daddy are buying us something for our birthdays and he says no I've got to get some stuff to go hunting this weekend. Im broke. Said it as nice as he could as if my daughter is stupid and cant see where his priorities are. Thats the kind of thing he wont change. I dont think he can. I feel bad for you and him. He's cried so much and I know i've hurt him. But I cant make him see.....

The waiting was torture for me and I did not handle it well. I let myself get weak and I was depressed. I did the best I could and reached out to family and friends. My waiting was with my wife still in the house. You might be better off with your wife moved out. I also felt my wife was not being totaly honest with me. I drove myself and her crazy. All you can do is listen to how she is feeling and try to be strong and move forward with your life - not that you will know what that might be at the moment. Take baby steps.

Scott

l wish l had a magic wand for all of us. l waited and then found out there was someone else

pqascott did you say you are in the second month of a one year seperation. Does this mean you have agreed to a one year seperation. Why would you do that, you not waiting your going through a process that you have set up that makes no sense. If you seperate and you want to work it out you don't put a time schedule on it you try to come to a conclusion as quickly as possible. The waiting I am having problems with is waiting for the divorce an it is taking way to long.

I truly understand your feelings. the waiting, the unknown of what is to come, what to hope for and what to expect are far out of reach at this time i'm sorry to say...give it time...TIME...such a hard word! My stbx and i will live together until our son grad HS...at least 8 months of living together...and he has someone else. i too scream and cry...but then i get up and try to do something, anything to get my mind on something else. put one foot in front of the other....reach out to friends. and know you are NOT alone in this walk!!!

I am sorry, I just don't understand this whole process. Mine told me he wanted 3 months to figure things out, I ask him at a month if he was figuring anything out and if anything had changed. He then said I wasn't doing the seperation thing right, that I asked too many questions. So I don't know how you work things out if you don't work on working things out. It has been three months now, he decided after one that he wanted a divorce. Didn't want to do counseling, didn't want to try. He couldn't be committed to me. It is so hard to go through when you feel you have no control over your own life.

I wish there was something to say to make things easier. My husband just left for another woman (who lives down the street from my mother in law) after 10 years. I agree with everyone this is the hardest thing to go through. I have 3 children and pray everyday for the pain to stop.

i too am in the same boat as you. My wife had me move so she can think and figure out what she wants . Now she calls me and asks how i'm doing then proceeds to tell me how done she is with me. Why do we let them get us this way.

My stbx is moving out this weekend. We haven't spoken in a couple of weeks. He's moving out to a townhouse and has taken a year's lease and all his furniture (he moved into my place 4 years ago - I got rid of my things to accommodate his.) He's leaving, and I don't really know what this means. Earlier in the year he talked about a separation. One time when he's had too much to drink he said he was divorcing me. Then after that he said the maybe we'd see in a year. And then he did nothing but say, confirm, restate, he was moving out on the 10th. I've haven't asked him to stay in over 3 weeks now. So I really don't know what is happening to me. I guess I'm going on the premise that we are headed toward divorce, even though I can't believe it. So I don't know that I will ever hear from him again actually. I know what town he is moving to, but I don't know what his address is, if he'll have a phone or what. So based on the lack of information, all I can do is assume that we are divorcing, and act accordingly. Too bad, so sad :(

There really is nothing worse in life except maybe the death of a loved one. My stbx calls me when she is in a bad mood to vent on me for things that meke no sense at all. Keep your chin up and know that everything happens for a reason.

Not advice - just more of the same. My wife and I were married for 24 years and she said she wanted a trial separation for 6 months. She told her friends and my sister that it was to give me a chance to work out if I wanted to be on my own because she felt we'd stopped communicating and she already felt alone in our marriage. Within 4 weeks though I sensed that she was becoming less and less available so eventually I challenged her on this (the day after our youngest daughters 18th birthday party). She confirmed that she wanted to make it permanent. A couple of weeks later I discovered that she'd met someone else. At first she said it was purely platonic and that he was just a friend. It was only three weeks ago that she told me their relationship had progressed. I have screamed until I thought my lungs would burst and I have cried until I thought it was impossible to cry any more and yet I cried on. Eventually though the screams started to subside and the tears became less frequent. I still cry at least once every day but usually only for a short time and all my screams are internal now. It does get better with time - honest - but how long it takes is different for everyone. I wish I could get over it more quickly myself but sadly it takes as long as it takes. Just keep talking and sharing with people that wont give up on you. It really helped me and I hope it will help you too.

I'm not sure if I have any advice but to take care of yourself. There is no easy way to get thtough this time. My husband left six months ago for a trial seperation, and things are not getting better. Crying is good for you, so is screaming. find some old dishes and slam them onthe floor of your garage... let it out and take care of yourself.