Breakups & Divorce Support Group

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How to get my wife back and show her I am the one?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I was mentally abusive to her and never cared to much about her feelings just mine? I am selfish but I love her a lot and not that we are separated just always have. I never show affection towards her. We have three children together. I drink, not all the time but I did, and I was an angry and flit drunk. I was a black-out drinker. I am currently going to church and getting help from AA. I put her though a lot and she can not ever forgive me. Do you think she will in due time or is there to much hurt. I have 2 DWI's pending. My life went for great to worst will it ever get better?
deleted_user
deleted_user
hello my brother< I think if your wife trully love u she will see the new man u become and slowlly you can re-gain her trust.
Its all about the trust my man. Right now your wife don't trust u: But if u show her that u are a new man her hart can start healling. I will pray for u and your marrige ...

Love u Alex
deleted_user
deleted_user
PS: Stay Focus and strong Don't give up
deleted_user
deleted_user
Lami, it will get better, but you have to get some help. AA is a great first step. I would work on yourself before you even attempt to try to get her back. She has a lot of healing to do as well. She may forgive you, but I wouldn't expect to get the marriage back until you are fully healed or recovered. You shouldn't want to go back until you are better for her sake and the sake of the children. My grandfather was in AA for years and was sober for 25 years before he passed away in '04. You can beat this thing, but you can't do it alone. Your wife may also want to try Al-Anon, my grandmother still goes even after all these years. I'll keep you in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The only way you have a chance is to work on changing yourself. This is not a process that can be rushed, it takes time to make permanent changes. Show her that you regret the past and are deeply committed to turning your life around for yourself and your family. I wish you all the best!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was in the position your wife was in. My husband was emotionally abusive, cared more about drinking with his buddies than me, would pass out at a friends house and I wouldn't know where he was.

I can only speak for me, but I took it for a long time, and finally asked for a divorce. Even if he changed and wanted me back, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't have any faith that he had truly changed after all that time. There would be constant trust issues that would make us both miserable and we'd just end up resenting each other.

It's great that you are going to church and attending AA. I applaud your effort and hope that it continues to help and that you can build a really great life for yourself. But she is going to have to heal herself, and she can't focus on healing herself if she's tied up in your healing.

Will she ever forgive and come back, I don't know. But maybe, as you both heal you can build a friendship around your involvement with your children. And from that friendship rebuild trust. But you have to let it happen over time, if it happens at all. Don't rush, don't push, just try to heal yourself and become the best person you can be. God will do what's right for you. Whatever He brings into your life, whether it's a challenge or a triumph is for a reason. Learn, grow and move forward from that.
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