Mediators are great if there is a lot of contested stuff to deal with. So if your financial situation is going to be difficult to untangle and will require a lot of back and forth then a mediator is better because it won't cost as much to come to an agreement...mostly because you are face to face and not going through lawyers.

Another advantage of a mediator, You and your spouse work out details together, so that the things that are the most important to you will be in your agreement, otherwise Lawyers and judges make decisions for you and your family, which you may or may not want.

really just depends on if you can agree on everything or not. A mediator is usually the quickest way. Thats how my first wife and I separated, we used a Mediator. Basically, I wrote out a list of stuff I wanted to keep (house, personal items etc) while she put the stuff she wanted after that (car, her personal stuff, etc) then signed it, along with the divorce papers, then 90 days later when the judge signed it off, we were divorced. We didn't have to use any special piece of paper, just any scratch piece of paper worked, long as it was in writing submitted with the divorce papers.

we didn't have to goto court, go in front of a judge, or anything. We had to pay the filing fee, and the cost of a mediator, but that was it. The cost of a Mediator was like a 3rd of what a lawyer would have cost. Of course, you each have to get a lawyer if you have stuff to fight over (kids especially) but in you guys case, you may be able to get by without one, just depends on how agreeable he's going to be.

I'll be going thru this process myself here in a while. I'm just trying to work out the details of where to live. My step-dad has diabetes and Cancer right now, and my mom was talking about having a roomate when that happens, but I would have to move to Ft Wayne, which I don't really want to do right now because I would have to start all over at school, but once graduation approaches in June, I'll be able to do it then, if the opportunity presents itself.

but yeah if you ever have any questions about divorce stuff, I know all about that unfortunately.

bumpety bump :)

what was that all about? so much for being best friends :(

That's just to "bump" the post back up to the top of the list. It's not a response to what you said. I read everything you said and took it to heart.

Another thing to consider is the laws of the state you reside in regarding separation/divorce guidelines and proceedings.