Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi,
As I am looking at a separation, I'm wondering how to proceed with lawyers and/or mediators. I've read that a mediator who represents both spouses can be a good way to proceed if the spouses aren't going to fight a lot about possessions. What is a mediator? How do you get one? Is there a way to draw up some kind of agreement while separating that would be binding in the case of a divorce? So that once the possessions are divided for a separation, nothing will change possession wise in case of a divorce? I'm looking for any knowledge I can get regarding laws and lawyers and basically any words of wisdom for divorce in general. I have already canceled and cut up the joint credit card and divided the savings in half by transferring my half into my own savings account (he likes to spend, so now he can't spend all our money in the meantime). Cars and house are paid off. Anyway, I appreciate all your responses and kindness and help.
As I am looking at a separation, I'm wondering how to proceed with lawyers and/or mediators. I've read that a mediator who represents both spouses can be a good way to proceed if the spouses aren't going to fight a lot about possessions. What is a mediator? How do you get one? Is there a way to draw up some kind of agreement while separating that would be binding in the case of a divorce? So that once the possessions are divided for a separation, nothing will change possession wise in case of a divorce? I'm looking for any knowledge I can get regarding laws and lawyers and basically any words of wisdom for divorce in general. I have already canceled and cut up the joint credit card and divided the savings in half by transferring my half into my own savings account (he likes to spend, so now he can't spend all our money in the meantime). Cars and house are paid off. Anyway, I appreciate all your responses and kindness and help.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Another advantage of a mediator, You and your spouse work out details together, so that the things that are the most important to you will be in your agreement, otherwise Lawyers and judges make decisions for you and your family, which you may or may not want.
really just depends on if you can agree on everything or not. A mediator is usually the quickest way. Thats how my first wife and I separated, we used a Mediator. Basically, I wrote out a list of stuff I wanted to keep (house, personal items etc) while she put the stuff she wanted after that (car, her personal stuff, etc) then signed it, along with the divorce papers, then 90 days later when the judge signed it off, we were divorced. We didn't have to use any special piece of paper, just any scratch piece of paper worked, long as it was in writing submitted with the divorce papers.
we didn't have to goto court, go in front of a judge, or anything. We had to pay the filing fee, and the cost of a mediator, but that was it. The cost of a Mediator was like a 3rd of what a lawyer would have cost. Of course, you each have to get a lawyer if you have stuff to fight over (kids especially) but in you guys case, you may be able to get by without one, just depends on how agreeable he's going to be.
but yeah if you ever have any questions about divorce stuff, I know all about that unfortunately.